The Ghost Of You
by XTheGovernmentKillsVickiX
Summary: ShuichiYuki He goes through life pretending to be happy , At home he's abused and cheated on by Yuki, by morning all he can do is cut to escape, Can anyone help Shuichi from Drowning in his pain? completed
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: this may be a one shot depending on how people react to this story.**

**Chapter 1: Pretending Prologue **

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I closed my eyes, another day, more stress, more hurtful comments, no love. I sighed quickly and pushed those thoughts away. I sighed and rolled off the bed and noticed Yuki wasn't their no surprise their. For a long time he hadn't being coming to bed or talking to me, it really hurt and if I saw him in the morning he just said something hurtful and walked away.

That's when I discovered the truth one night he was sleeping around with different people every night and I just didn't care anymore and that's when I discovered my new addiction cutting myself, it seemed to release my unwanted pain and hateful life.

I walked to the bathroom another day, another cut to add. I wore long sleeves to cover my cuts and scars .I looked at the razor I sliced it quickly over my arm and cried out as the blood pooled out of my wound I washed it quickly and pretended nothing was wrong I slipped on my long maroon colored shirt and as usual pretended nothing was wrong.

Every night Yuki would sleep with me he would use me, throw me away he didn't care all I was to him was a cheap fuck, I just didn't care I stayed beside him just for company not for any specific reason anymore the supposed love we shared was fake and cold as a brick of ice I no longer saw the warm honey colored eyes of Yuki, I just saw the cold eyes of a sarcastic man.

I headed down the stairs to see Yuki cooking he eyes me curiously at my sleeves and said harshly "You know brat its hot out" I smiled cutely and pretended nothing was wrong "I don't care I like long sleeves" I said quickly covering any lies. He moved toward me and grasped my chin harshly

"I'm going out later so don't expect me when you get back" he said kissing me harshly, my hand lashed out and pushed him away he looked at me curiously and moved forward and I cried out

"Going out to fuck another woman behind my back again, you don't think I know what your doing it pains me that all you see me as is a another conquest" he moved his fingers harshly against my face and slapped me hard I cried out as I landed on the cold tile floor he pulled me up by my hair and said with an agonized tone "Please stop" he moved forward

"Brat listen and listen well I'm not fucking anyone behind your back so stop accusing me every fucking day" he dropped me with a thud, I winced from the drop and watched him disappear and laughed softly to the air

"What happened to us Eiri am I so disgusting to you"? I said softly getting up brushing the dirt off myself and I headed toward N-G records

_Just pretend, just pretend everything's alright and it'll go away._

I couldn't tell anyone about Yuki's behavior toward me I winced at the bruise forming on my forehead from the drop and sighed softly as I entered the building we started recording as we finished I noticed hiro's concerned face

"Shuichi is their something your hiding" he uttered softly I nodded no and headed out pretending everything was alright I headed home to find the house empty, I climbed into the bed and stroked Yuki's side of the bed, How many night's has it being since I've held you? How many nights will this pretend love go on for?

I heard the door close and an angry growl and the laugh of a female voice I winced and closed my eyes pretending wishing it would go away. I heard the girl ask

"What about that kid in your room"? I looked up and heard the laugh of Yuki he sounded drunk his voice was slurred as he spoke the next words

"Oh him he's just my cousin" I winced and my tears gently fell out of my eyes and landed on the bed _he's just my cousin._ I heard the girl scream and Yuki grunt and the woman laughed hotly and she left the apartment I heard the door slam and the bedroom door open up quickly I shivered in disgust at Yuki as he towered over me

"Brat see I told you I wasn't cheating" he said in a slurred matter. I winced as he roughly placed me on his lap and I felt his hot breath on my ear his hands trailed over my arms and he seemed to snap out of his drunken state when he saw the marks on my arms

"What is this"? He screamed I shivered lightly how could I reply? "Tell me" he screamed, I winced I'd be better if I told him it's not like he'll remember "I cut myself" I said simply he shook a little and held me close gently

"Why"? He said simply his fingers digging through my hair "because I'm sick of the way you treat me, I'm sick of life, why do you care? all you do is fuck behind my back" I said in disgust and he let me go tears dribbled out of his eyes and he backed away

"I'm sorry" he said quietly leaving me in the bedroom alone.

"I'm sorry Yuki" I uttered quietly to the air quietly and closed my eyes and dreamt of a life where I was happy and free where I was not alone where I was loved.

**Authors note: So what did you guys think if I get enough reviews Ill contuine?**


	2. Chapter 2:I'll Never Be Him

**Author note: Wow I never thought I would get such a good response to my story I'm so happy everyone reviewed! I would list all of the people but there are too many. I'm so happy you all like it and I hope you keep reviewing.**

**Previously on The ghost of you:** "Brat listen and listen well I'm not fucking anyone behind your back so stop accusing me every fucking day" he dropped me with a thud, I winced from the drop and watched him disappear and laughed softly to the air

"What happened to us Eiri am I so disgusting to you"? I said softly getting up brushing the dirt off myself and I headed toward N-G records

_Just pretend, just pretend everything's alright and it'll go away._

I couldn't tell anyone about Yuki's behavior toward me I winced at the bruise forming on my forehead from the drop and sighed softly as I entered the building we started recording as we finished I noticed Hiro's concerned face

"Shuichi is their something your hiding" he uttered softly I nodded no and headed out pretending everything was alright I headed home to find the house empty, I climbed into the bed and stroked Yuki's side of the bed, How many night's has it being since I've held you? How many nights will this pretend love go on for?

I heard the door close and an angry growl and the laugh of a female voice I winced and closed my eyes pretending wishing it would go away. I heard the girl ask

"What about that kid in your room"? I looked up and heard the laugh of Yuki he sounded drunk his voice was slurred as he spoke the next words

"Oh him he's just my cousin" I winced and my tears gently fell out of my eyes and landed on the bed _he's just my cousin._ I heard the girl scream and Yuki grunt and the woman laughed hotly and she left the apartment I heard the door slam and the bedroom door open up quickly I shivered in disgust at Yuki as he towered over me

"Brat see I told you I wasn't cheating" he said in a slurred matter. I winced as he roughly placed me on his lap and I felt his hot breath on my ear his hands trailed over my arms and he seemed to snap out of his drunken state when he saw the marks on my arms

"What is this"? He screamed I shivered lightly how could I reply? "Tell me" he screamed, I winced I'd be better if I told him it's not like he'll remember "I cut myself" I said simply he shook a little and held me close gently

"Why"? He said simply his fingers digging through my hair "because I'm sick of the way you treat me, I'm sick of life, why do you care? All you do is fuck behind my back" I said in disgust and he let me go tears dribbled out of his eyes and he backed away

"I'm sorry" he said quietly leaving me in the bedroom alone.

"I'm sorry Yuki" I uttered quietly to the air quietly and closed my eyes and dreamt of a life where I was happy and free where I was not alone where I was loved.

**Chapter 1: I'll Never be Him**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I awoke to the sound of breaking glass I looked around quickly and heard an outraged scream. My eyes adjusted to the light I ran out to find Yuki smashing bottles his golden eyes glittering with unsuppressed emotions.

"Yuki" I uttered quietly he turned quickly his eyes were glittering; I moved closer his hands were bleeding and scars were forming. "Yuki what happened" he turned away quickly his blonde hair covering his face. He moved his hand over the glass quickly and blood spilt forth

"Yuki stop" I screamed he turned to me harshly, his eyes glittered softly I looked around there was nothing indicating alcohol, or substance abuse.

"Does it hurt when you cut yourself"? He asked quietly rubbing his fingers over his cuts, "Does it feel painful"? He asked quietly I almost didn't hear him but he uttered under his breath softly "am I that bad, does he really cut himself"? He said clutching his bleeding arm.

I moved forward quickly grasping his bleeding arm and I tore a bit of my shirt and wrapped it around his bleeding arm "Yuki" I said softly he pulled away quickly and his tears spilled forth "How can you look at me after all of this after what I do to you"? He said between tears. I looked at Yuki his blonde hair was scattered over his face trickling down his eyes I clutched him gently and uttered softly in his ears its ok, its ok.

He pulled away gently and said softly "Shuichi maybe we need some time apart I mean to maybe think of us" he said softly stroking his fingers through my fine pink hair. I clutched him tightly and the hot tears fell out of my face and landed on the carpet. He sighed and stroked my chin

"Shuichi I don't want to hurt you anymore I really think we should consider thinking about this" he said softly and he got up leaving me on the floor to ponder my own thoughts.

A little while later I had called Hiro and asked him if I could live with him for awhile. I remembered his concerned voice over the phone I had told him it was nothing but obviously he knew it was something.

The phone slipped from my fingers as I hanged up the phone I heard the dull busy signal of the phone, was this how relationships were supposed to be?

I stared at my bags in my hands I had packed up my bags and I had soon after called Hiro. I stared at the door and Yuki stood at the door his blonde hair covered his eyes and he gently held me one last time his hot breath on my neck he bit me gently and pulled me up so his golden eyes locked with mine and said softly kissing me gently. Our tongues danced for dominance and he uttered biting that spot one last time

"Don't forget me yet" he said softly and he pushed me out the door I heard the slam behind me and I clutched my forehead, "Yuki" I said softly walking away my razor in my pocket laced with freshly sliced blood.

I stared at the sidewalk as I walked it seemed to be getting smaller and smaller as I approached Hiro's house, It was large and well lit I approached the door and knocked quickly, Hiro smiled widely and said softly "Hey Shuichi come on in" I nodded putting on my happy face hiding behind a mask was the best thing to do.

"Shuichi what really happened between you and Yuki"? He said softly his mahogany colored hair gleaming in the light. I looked at him softly my eyes closing softly and I uttered back completely breaking down.

"Yuki said we need some time apart" I uttered gently falling to the ground my shoulders started shaking and my tears escaping my eyes. Hiro got down beside me and slid his hand on my chin and pulled it onto his shoulder.

"Shuichi listen if he's being this way then he doesn't deserve you" he said softly his fingers trailing into my hair I groaned softly and he pulled me closer. I felt the razor in my pocket and sighed man did I ever need to cut.

I felt his fingers hold me and I sighed and closed my eyes "Hiro I have to go to the bathroom" I said softly my hand in my pocket and the razor gleamed brightly.

I stared in the mirror and sighed and I felt the cold metal press against my skin and the blood fell softly into the sink. I smiled sadly and smiled the razor felt so good against my skin the more I cut the less I noticed how much blood was seeping through

_Do you still love me, Do you only see me? If you could see me now would you still love me? _

I looked in the mirror and I washed my skin gently feeling the cold refreshing feel of water on my skin. I heard a loud knocking on the door I heard a worried voice of Hiro on the other end

"Shuichi are you ok in there you've being in there for awhile?" he said gently I screamed back I was fine.

I felt myself become dizzy slightly and I stumbled out quickly my razor gleamed in my pocket Hiro smiled at me and I smiled back cutely. My face betrayed nothing to Hiro I was the same Shuichi Shindou not a care in the world.

"Shuichi you look a little pale you should lay down" he uttered quickly I felt my body stumble as my body fell to the ground I felt two warms arms encircle me and I sighed happily I opened my eyes gently "Yuki" I uttered through my hazed mind.

"Shuichi just relax I got ya" he said picking me up gently I felt a warm curtain of hair surround me and keep me safe. I heard his soft voice gently interrupt my thoughts

"What happened to you Shuichi"? He said gently observing my body I felt his breath catch in his throat as he fingered the marks on my arms some of them were scars some were actually messages engraved in my skin. He kissed each scar and wound gently his eyes closed and I saw his tears escape those beautiful eyes.

"Shuichi I'll protect you" the voice said softly and kindly he reached in my pocket and gently found the razor he sighed gently and pulled it out I heard the distant smack of the razor hit the wall and in the garbage.

I felt my body relax gently and his fingers gently stroked my hair, I felt my body give into the pleasure and I sighed happily and I uttered his name "Yuki" I felt the hand stop and push out of my hair and the voice uttered gently and sadly

"Ill never be him to you, I'll never understand why it is when I'm with you I feel at peace, when we talk my body seems to relax, but I'll never be him to you" he said gently stroking my hair and he placed a soft longing kiss on my lips and he stroked my hair one last time.

_I'll never be him to you…_

What did that strange voice mean I'll never be him to you? I felt a warm blanket surround my body and hot bottle was put on me. It felt so soft and relaxing and my body just eased itself into a peaceful dream land where I was free, warm and happy.

**Authors note: so what did you guys think? So our mysterious guy likes Shuichi I'm sure you all know who this guy is? I wonder does Yuki miss Shuichi. Maybe in the next chapter I'll do something from Yuki's P.O.V**

**So Review to keep my story alive… **


	3. Chapter 3:I have Nothing, You Have me

**Author Note: Oh my god thank you for all the reviews I can't believe I'm getting such a good response to this story, I would love to thank the reviewers I would name them but theirs a lot**

**Anyway back to the story…**

**Previously on The Ghost of You: **_Do you still love me, Do you only see me? If you could see me now would you still love me? _

I looked in the mirror and I washed my skin gently feeling the cold refreshing feel of water on my skin. I heard a loud knocking on the door I heard a worried voice of Hiro on the other end

"Shuichi are you ok in there you've being in there for awhile?" he said gently I screamed back I was fine.

I felt myself become dizzy slightly and I stumbled out quickly my razor gleamed in my pocket Hiro smiled at me and I smiled back cutely. My face betrayed nothing to Hiro I was the same Shuichi Shindou not a care in the world.

"Shuichi you look a little pale you should lay down" he uttered quickly I felt my body stumble as my body fell to the ground I felt two warms arms encircle me and I sighed happily I opened my eyes gently "Yuki" I uttered through my hazed mind.

"Shuichi just relax I got ya" he said picking me up gently I felt a warm curtain of hair surround me and keep me safe. I heard his soft voice gently interrupt my thoughts

"What happened to you Shuichi"? He said gently observing my body I felt his breath catch in his throat as he fingered the marks on my arms some of them were scars some were actually messages engraved in my skin. He kissed each scar and wound gently his eyes closed and I saw his tears escape those beautiful eyes.

"Shuichi I'll protect you" the voice said softly and kindly he reached in my pocket and gently found the razor he sighed gently and pulled it out I heard the distant smack of the razor hit the wall and in the garbage.

I felt my body relax gently and his fingers gently stroked my hair, I felt my body give into the pleasure and I sighed happily and I uttered his name "Yuki" I felt the hand stop and push out of my hair and the voice uttered gently and sadly

"Ill never be him to you, I'll never understand why it is when I'm with you I feel at peace, when we talk my body seems to relax, but I'll never be him to you" he said gently stroking my hair and he placed a soft longing kiss on my lips and he stroked my hair one last time.

_I'll never be him to you…_

What did that strange voice mean I'll never be him to you? I felt a warm blanket surround my body and hot bottle was put on me. It felt so soft and relaxing and my body just eased itself into a peaceful dream land where I was free, warm and happy.

**Chapter 3: I have Nothing, You Have Me**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

The warm air surrounded my soft skin as I looked around and smiled and snuggled further into the blankets and my eyes slowly adjusted to the light of the room I reached into my pocket and gasped

_My razor, where's my razor, _I hurriedly checked my pockets and breathed heavily it was gone, it was fucking gone. I crawled out of bed and saw a sleeping Hiro laying next to my bed, I smiled sadly he must have stayed here all night that voice the soft caring voice it must have belonged to Hiro.

_I'll never be him to you…_

What did Hiro mean by that? Did he… no Hiro would never want that? I searched the room quickly my wrists burned with desire and aching need, where was it? I heard a shuffling behind me and noticed Hiro had woken up he smirked at me and moved forward and uttered in a broken tone.

"Shuichi, why, why cut yourself?" I gasped and moved away quickly my arm exposed I moved quickly to cover it and sniffled slightly and moved away. Hiro grabbed my arm and uttered again "Why do you cut yourself?"

My hand slid backwards ready to slap him when he caught my arm and he asked again this time in a calmer voice "why do you cut yourself"? I moved away from him ready to run to the door when he caught my arm and he pushed me to the floor and screamed loudly his eyes bore into mine "Why do you fucking cut yourself"? I felt my hot tears run out of my beautiful violet eyes

"I...I don't know it releases stress and I… feel depressed with my life, no one loves me everyone hates me my parents think I'm a freak because I like men, what do I have to live for? Do you know how it feels to have the one man you love abuse you everyday, call you names, treat you like trash, cheat on you constantly and deny it right to your face, all I do is give and give and I get shit right back maybe cutting is what I need"

I said my head bowed my tears trickling down from my eyes the emotions I felt right now was like a large vine was wrapping itself around my heart and squeezing it very painfully, I couldn't believe I had just openly told Hiro everything. My arms itched for a knife and my head pounded horribly. I needed to get away,

As I got up to go to the door I felt two arms wrap themselves around my waist and hold me close, _Hiro_ I felt his arms hold me tightly and he held me close his breath on my neck.

"Shuichi, I care about you I would never hurt you, don't hurt yourself please, I would do anything to keep you alive, don't resort to that" he said his voice quiet and pleading in my ear,

I pushed him away quickly his eyes filled with shock and hurt, he closed his eyes and a few tears trickled down his face his red hair covering his face. I felt my anger rise "I have nothing don't you understand? All I have is that, all I have is the blade of the knife that makes me bleed and cry".

He stood their and he said softly and quietly I almost didn't catch it

"You have me" he uttered I gasped and pulled back quickly the door in a matter of seconds away all I had to do was open it? So why was I hesitating? He moved toward me and my feet were for some reason planted to the ground.

"Shuichi don't you want me? I'll be their when you need me I'll never leave you" he uttered his lips touching mine gently, I gasped softly and I saw his red hair morph into Yuki's his eyes changed into Yuki's golden eyes and I kissed back my hands sliding over his hair

_Yuki…_

Our lips danced over each others in a tangled web of passion and deceit, I felt the hot lips of Yuki's claim mine that red hair was now blonde and perfect. Golden eyes locked with violet eyes, and I moaned lowly,

We separated our breaths coming out in pants he smiled and he held me close my eyes were not looking at him they were looking through him and his blonde hair fell over me, my eyes snapped open and I saw red and sighed softly in my mind as he held me

_You'll never be him…_

Hiro smiled down at me and I looked away "Hiro, this might ruin the friendship? I don't want to hurt you" I said softly looking away how could I be with Hiro? When all I saw was Yuki, he looked at me and pulled me close and uttered in my ear

"Shuichi I'll never leave you" I snuggled into his chest and smiled through my mask "alright lets give it a chance"

_All I need is love…_

_I don't need him…_

_I'm not looking at you, I'm looking through you_

I sighed in his arms and as he held me I cried in my mask _I'm sorry Hiro all I see is Yuki _I would stay with Hiro for the sake of Hiro so I could have someone who loved me. I climbed out of his arms and kissed him gently and headed to the washroom and looked in the garbage and smiled sadly and happily at the same time

_My sweet razor how we meet again._

I moved toward it and placed it on my wrist and sliced and I sighed with pleasure each slice I take will keep me longer with Hiro, it doesn't matter about me I just want to make him happy.

I walked out pretending nothing happened as a trail of blood trailed down my wrist and I cuddled Hiro close to me as we sat in front of the TV holding each other. I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep tomorrow was another day and tomorrow was a new life with Hiro?

_I only see him_

_I stay with you for the sake of you_

**Authors Note: So Hiro and Shuichi are together? Next chapter Yuki will see them together and how the tempers will flare will Shuichi really stay with Hiro and does Yuki even miss our little Shuichi.**

**--Don't forget to review to keep my story alive--**

**Find out next time on the ghost of you.**


	4. Chapter 4: Have you Forgotten me?

**Authors Note: Well I have updated I would like to thank the Reviewers if you want to talk to me just e-mail me at anywho let us begin now **

**YAY go Reviewers…**

**Previously on The Ghost Of You:** My hand slid backwards ready to slap him when he caught my arm and he asked again this time in a calmer voice "why do you cut yourself"? I moved away from him ready to run to the door when he caught my arm and he pushed me to the floor and screamed loudly his eyes bore into mine "Why do you fucking cut yourself"? I felt my hot tears run out of my beautiful violet eyes

"I...I don't know it releases stress and I… feel depressed with my life, no one loves me everyone hates me my parents think I'm a freak because I like men, what do I have to live for? Do you know how it feels to have the one man you love abuse you everyday, call you names, treat you like trash, cheat on you constantly and deny it right to your face, all I do is give and give and I get shit right back maybe cutting is what I need"

I said my head bowed my tears trickling down from my eyes the emotions I felt right now was like a large vine was wrapping itself around my heart and squeezing it very painfully, I couldn't believe I had just openly told Hiro everything. My arms itched for a knife and my head pounded horribly. I needed to get away,

As I got up to go to the door I felt two arms wrap themselves around my waist and hold me close, _Hiro_ I felt his arms hold me tightly and he held me close his breath on my neck.

"Shuichi, I care about you I would never hurt you, don't hurt yourself please, I would do anything to keep you alive, don't resort to that" he said his voice quiet and pleading in my ear,

I pushed him away quickly his eyes filled with shock and hurt, he closed his eyes and a few tears trickled down his face his red hair covering his face. I felt my anger rise "I have nothing don't you understand? All I have is that, all I have is the blade of the knife that makes me bleed and cry".

He stood their and he said softly and quietly I almost didn't catch it

"You have me" he uttered I gasped and pulled back quickly the door in a matter of seconds away all I had to do was open it? So why was I hesitating? He moved toward me and my feet were for some reason planted to the ground.

"Shuichi don't you want me? I'll be their when you need me I'll never leave you" he uttered his lips touching mine gently, I gasped softly and I saw his red hair morph into Yuki's his eyes changed into Yuki's golden eyes and I kissed back my hands sliding over his hair

_Yuki…_

Our lips danced over each others in a tangled web of passion and deceit, I felt the hot lips of Yuki's claim mine that red hair was now blonde and perfect. Golden eyes locked with violet eyes, and I moaned lowly,

We separated our breaths coming out in pants he smiled and he held me close my eyes were not looking at him they were looking through him and his blonde hair fell over me, my eyes snapped open and I saw red and sighed softly in my mind as he held me

_You'll never be him…_

Hiro smiled down at me and I looked away "Hiro, this might ruin the friendship? I don't want to hurt you" I said softly looking away how could I be with Hiro? When all I saw was Yuki, he looked at me and pulled me close and uttered in my ear

"Shuichi I'll never leave you" I snuggled into his chest and smiled through my mask "alright lets give it a chance"

_All I need is love…_

_I don't need him…_

_I'm not looking at you, I'm looking through you_

I sighed in his arms and as he held me I cried in my mask _I'm sorry Hiro all I see is Yuki _I would stay with Hiro for the sake of Hiro so I could have someone who loved me. I climbed out of his arms and kissed him gently and headed to the washroom and looked in the garbage and smiled sadly and happily at the same time

_My sweet razor how we meet again…_

I moved toward it and placed it on my wrist and sliced and I sighed with pleasure each slice I take will keep me longer with Hiro, it doesn't matter about me I just want to make him happy.

I walked out pretending nothing happened as a trail of blood trailed down my wrist and I cuddled Hiro close to me as we sat in front of the TV holding each other. I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep tomorrow was another day and tomorrow was a new life with Hiro?

_I only see him_

_I stay with you for the sake of you_

**Chapter 4: Have You Forgotten?**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I smiled happily as I held Hiro's arm as we walked down the street but inside all I wanted to do was run back to Yuki and hold him as he stroked my head, but then I remembered the abuse did I really want to go back to that?

I felt Hiro tighten his arm around me and I looked up to see Hiro's face looking quite serious, I looked at him and felt him hold me closer and he mumbled under his breath

"Let's go Shuichi" I looked at him strangely and I released myself from his grip and I felt my back collide with another hard surface, I saw Hiro's face recoil in horror in slow motion and I turned around slowly a smile plastered on my face

"Oh I'm… Yuki" I uttered quietly I felt my body become paralyzed at the spot and my pink hair seemed to loose it bounce, his golden eyes bore into mine and I felt Hiro grab my arm and pull me away gently

"Let's go Shuichi" he said quietly I noticed Yuki's eyes soften slightly and he looked away and I saw his head bend down slightly and he uttered in a mumbled tone

"Shuichi, have you forgotten me… so easily already"? I looked back to find no one there I noticed on the ground where Yuki stood was his lighter, it was his silver one the one he usually used to light his cigarettes and I noticed on it lay the picture we had taken together.

I looked at it and I felt a few tears trickle down my eyes and my body started to shake and I held it I remembered Yuki's words they were soft but still their

"_Have you forgotten me so easily already?"_ I closed my eyes and willed those images to go away _no, no I won't remember_ I placed the lighter in my pocket slightly and held it close

It was all I had left…

I felt Hiro's arms tighten around me and we kept walking Hiro chatted to me happily and I nodded and pretended to be all happy and cheerful.

Hiro leaned forward and tilted my chin up and our lips met in a gentle kiss and our tongues mingled with happiness with one another,

I separated from him gently and held him close "Hiro I'm going to go for a walk" Hiro looked at me sadly and held me close "are you sure you want to go alone "I nodded happily and my legs seemed to move on their own.

I walked slowly and I noticed and sighed It_ was that park the park me and Yuki first met in. _I noticed the air around me was cold and chilly and the trees were blowing and the leafs of the trees were scattered on the cold cement sidewalk.

I felt my arms tighten around myself and I sat myself down on the bench and I smiled sadly _this was the place, this is the place we first met how long ago has it been since I've been here, Yuki are you thinking of me now? _

I heard the ground shuffle and I looked up it was Yuki he was standing their looking as gorgeous as ever his blonde hair was scattered over his face and his golden eyes seemed to gleam in the sunlight he looked at me and said softly

"Is this seat taken?" I nodded no and watched him sit down every move he made was graceful like a cat he moved toward me and I looked away from him and I asked in the other direction "So…what's up?" he laughed harshly and he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him

"Am I that disgusting? That you can't even look me in the eye when you talk to me" I felt his arms tighten around me and I tried to pull away but he held me close and he said it again this time a little harsher

"Am I disgusting to you"? I looked away but he held my chin tightly "answer me "

I felt my hands go slack and I uttered softly under my breath "No… Yuki your beautiful" I blushed a bright pink and Yuki smiled and pulled me forward again and he said his eyes seemed to burn with something intense

"Are you with Hiro now?" I nodded yes and I felt his arms release me and he looked away coldly and he said in a harsh tone "Forgotten me already? Did I really mean that little to you"

I looked at him my eyes shaking softly my tears trickled down my eyes and I looked away he grabbed my face and pulled me forward

"Don't cry, I hate it when you cry" he said softly his hands caressing my face gently,

"You always speak of love but yet you forget me so easily… I guess then maybe this love you speak of all the time isn't real…" he said softly and he pulled away his hands left me quickly and I grabbed his arm and pulled him forward

"Yuki please don't…" he looked at me gently and turned around and he cupped my chin "even now… you look at me with those kind eyes" he leaned forward trapping me on the bench his body hovering over mine he breathed on my skin gently I looked up and noticed his golden eyes were staring down at me "Yuki…I can't" he looked at me a flicker of regret passed over his features he pulled away quickly.

"I'm sorry how can you want to touch me after what I did and also now you have Hiro" he said I noticed the way he sneered Hiro's name and he got up quickly "I have to go now" I noticed the way he started to walk away and I ran after him gently and I felt my body fall as I tripped on a rock and my body fell on top of his and my tears streamed down my face.

"Yuki just this once will you kiss me one last time" he looked at me and his eyes sparkled and he smiled gently and pulled me forward our mouths met in a passionate kiss and our tongues intertwined. I felt my body heat up and I moaned gently and he pulled away at that one moment everything was perfect he looked away and he gently got up

"Shuichi, I guess this is goodbye" he pulled away from me and I uttered weakly "Yuki…I'm sorry" he looked back and smiled a sad smile a few tears trickling down my face his blonde hair falling over his eyes his shoulders sagged gently and he looked me in the eyes and smiled sadly and replied

"I'm the one who's sorry Shuichi" and he walked away his feet gently fading away into the distance as he walked away I closed my eyes and I could still feel his lips on mine, I could feel the love, I could feel Yuki.

I moved out of the park and moved myself back to Hiro's apartment I moved and saw Hiro lying asleep I smiled and walked to the bathroom and I found it my trusty old razor.

I held it in my hands and I sliced I moaned softly as I felt the warm blood fall out of my hand and I started to clean it up quickly and the only thing I could say was

"Yuki" _every time I slept all I see is you, when I walk I see you, when I laughed I saw you, when I make love all I see is you_

I moved toward the bed and lay down gently I felt Hiro's arms hold me and I moved into his embrace and as I fell asleep I saw him I saw

_Yuki…_

_**Yup end of chapter so what did you guys think? I hope you all Review looks at people reading story I need reviews to keep this alive Alive I tell yee... Any who… next chapter will most likely be from Yuki's P.O.V.**_


	5. Chapter 5: Fake

**Authors Note: As usual I would like to thank the reviewers WOO! Hoo! For you guys so this chapter is kind of a mix of my ideas and amyrose's so enjoy please !**

**Previously on The ghost of you:**

**I felt my arms tighten around myself and I sat myself down on the bench and I smiled sadly _this was the place, this is the place we first met how long ago has it been since I've been here, Yuki are you thinking of me now? _**

**I heard the ground shuffle and I looked up it was Yuki he was standing their looking as gorgeous as ever his blonde hair was scattered over his face and his golden eyes seemed to gleam in the sunlight he looked at me and said softly**

**"Is this seat taken?" I nodded no and watched him sit down every move he made was graceful like a cat he moved toward me and I looked away from him and I asked in the other direction "So…what's up?" he laughed harshly and he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him**

**"Am I that disgusting? That you can't even look me in the eye when you talk to me" I felt his arms tighten around me and I tried to pull away but he held me close and he said it again this time a little harsher**

**"Am I disgusting to you"? I looked away but he held my chin tightly "answer me "**

**I felt my hands go slack and I uttered softly under my breath "No… Yuki your beautiful" I blushed a bright pink and Yuki smiled and pulled me forward again and he said his eyes seemed to burn with something intense**

**"Are you with Hiro now?" I nodded yes and I felt his arms release me and he looked away coldly and he said in a harsh tone "Forgotten me already? Did I really mean that little to you"**

**I looked at him my eyes shaking softly my tears trickled down my eyes and I looked away he grabbed my face and pulled me forward**

**"Don't cry, I hate it when you cry" he said softly his hands caressing my face gently,**

**"You always speak of love but yet you forget me so easily… I guess then maybe this love you speak of all the time isn't real…" he said softly and he pulled away his hands left me quickly and I grabbed his arm and pulled him forward**

**"Yuki please don't…" he looked at me gently and turned around and he cupped my chin "even now… you look at me with those kind eyes" he leaned forward trapping me on the bench his body hovering over mine he breathed on my skin gently I looked up and noticed his golden eyes were staring down at me "Yuki…I can't" he looked at me a flicker of regret passed over his features he pulled away quickly.**

**"I'm sorry how can you want to touch me after what I did and also now you have Hiro" he said I noticed the way he sneered Hiro's name and he got up quickly "I have to go now" I noticed the way he started to walk away and I ran after him gently and I felt my body fall as I tripped on a rock and my body fell on top of his and my tears streamed down my face.**

**"Yuki just this once will you kiss me one last time" he looked at me and his eyes sparkled and he smiled gently and pulled me forward our mouths met in a passionate kiss and our tongues intertwined. I felt my body heat up and I moaned gently and he pulled away at that one moment everything was perfect he looked away and he gently got up**

**"Shuichi, I guess this is goodbye" he pulled away from me and I uttered weakly "Yuki…I'm sorry" he looked back and smiled a sad smile a few tears trickling down my face his blonde hair falling over his eyes his shoulders sagged gently and he looked me in the eyes and smiled sadly and replied**

**"I'm the one who's sorry Shuichi" and he walked away his feet gently fading away into the distance as he walked away I closed my eyes and I could still feel his lips on mine, I could feel the love, I could feel Yuki.**

**I moved out of the park and moved myself back to Hiro's apartment I moved and saw Hiro lying asleep I smiled and walked to the bathroom and I found it my trusty old razor.**

**I held it in my hands and I sliced I moaned softly as I felt the warm blood fall out of my hand and I started to clean it up quickly and the only thing I could say was**

**"Yuki" _every time I slept all I see is you, when I walk I see you, when I laughed I saw you, when I make love all I see is you_**

**I moved toward the bed and lay down gently I felt Hiro's arms hold me and I moved into his embrace and as I fell asleep I saw him I saw**

_**Yuki…**_

**Chapter 5: Fake**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I awoke softly to find the bed empty I smiled sadly and trudged on my usual clothing a dark pair of blue jeans and a soft grey shirt with black stripes going horizontally across it, I had suddenly taken a liking to black clothing and I placed chains on my black pants. I looked at myself and brushed my bright pink hair and smiled a fake smile.

_**Perfect…**_

I walked toward the N-G building I walked toward the studio a fake grin placed on my perfect skin, as we played I sang as usual Fujaski gave me a thumbs up and Hiro smiled.

The air around me grew cold and I walked outside I felt a warm hand touch my skin I turned suddenly and before I could stop myself I leaped out the first word that came to my mind

**I'd give anything to give me to you  
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew  
If you want me,  
Come and find me  
Nothing's stopping you so please release me**

"Yuki" the hand stopped and I turned and gasped "Hiro" I uttered he looked at me his red hair covering his face gently and he reached forward

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you**

"No matter what I do everything is Yuki, Yuki, and Yuki" he said his head moving softly his fists clenching in and out. I moved forward and grasped his face a fake smile on my face my eyes gleaming with betrayal. The trees seemed to howl when they heard this and the leafs scattered around us and it seemed a bad omen was blowing.

"Hiro you know I love you now" I said stroking his cheek his hand pushed my hand away and he grabbed me and pulled me forward

"Stop it, stop it with the fake smiles, the fake happiness, I can see right through you" I tried to move out of his grasp and he held me tighter weaving his fingers through my hair. His breath hot on my ear and I shivered lightly.

**Nothing left to make me feel anymore  
There's only you and everyday I need more  
If you want me  
Come and find me  
I'll do anything you say just tell me**

"Hiro stop please all I want is you" _liar _a voice said in my head saying it loud and clear, he grabbed me roughly again pulling me to him tighter and he said angrily staring straight into my violet eyes.

"Stop lying when you look at me you see Yuki don't you? Don't you? He said a bit louder. I moved away from his grasp and I heard his soft sobs "how could I have being so stupid to actually believe you would want me?" I moved forward grasping him tightly

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you**

"Hiro I do want you" I said smiling happily _why are you such a liar?_ The voice repeated in an angry tone. He pushed me and I fell to the ground with a thud and I looked at him a few tears dribbling down my eyes, his voice was full of anger and betrayal

**I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you**

"Get out of my sight you disgust me" I looked at him my knees wobbling; my head bowed my head shaking softly my pink hair falling over my eyes.

"Hiro, why don't you want me?" I said my voice slightly strained and saddened, he said softly with a bit of anger behind it "you don't want me all you want his him" he said his feet clicking on the ground behind him and I was left on the ground, withered and alone. I felt my body get up I needed to get home, but home to who and to where. If I returned to Hiro's would he accept me?

**Anything for you  
I'll become your earth and sky  
Forever never die  
I'll be everything you need**

I sniffled slightly it was already 8 by the time I had finished walking the streets around town and I noticed I was in the bad part of town, I didn't care anymore. As I was heading toward Hiro's maybe if we talked about it, we could work it out. I felt a pair of cold hands touch me.

**Enter Lemon... (This is rape so be warned I tried not to go into much detail for this )**

I turned and noticed a man he was in his early twenties he had long black hair and bright blue eyes he had a semi muscular body he wore a long black trench coat and a button down shirt he moved toward and cupped my chin and said in a lazy tone

"You ,looking for a good time beautiful?" I shivered and moved away quickly he pulled me back and gripped me rougher and said it again louder and I nodded no and he laughed coldly stroking my hair and pulling it roughly

"Well you don't have a choice" he said sliding his fingers under my shirt stroking my skin lightly. I felt my tears prick up and I cried softly as his hands stroked my crotch

"Stop crying beautiful I'll make you feel good" I started to cry louder as he unzipped my pants and he placed his lips over my erection I cried and had no choice but to moan into the pleasure I felt my erection pulse and spill forth he smiled evilly and sucked it dry and I cried louder. He looked at me and smirked "You like that you little bitch" he raised his hand and slapped my ass and I cried out my tears coming faster and faster "Shut up you stupid whore"

He slapped me across the face holding me against the wall and he undid his pants and his large erection was placed at my hole he roughly shoved himself in, I cried out in pain I felt my ass ripping in pain and I had no choice but to accept it. I heard his loud grunts of pleasure and I felt his erection convulse and ejaculate I felt my body fall to the ground in a heap and he moved forward and uttered

"See you around beautiful" and he left me their feeling used and abused. My mind was spinning the tears I held back released and I cried, I cried for Hiro , I cried for this, I cried for Yuki and most of all I cried for myself I needed a razor and I needed it now but I couldn't find anything and I felt myself become sick. I needed to get out but my body just would not move and I felt my body become weak.

"Yuki" My head hit the cement and I felt two arms encircle me I remembered a figure carrying me back I remembered feelings his warm hands and his soothing voice. I remember the distant look of blonde.

**Authors note: So some guy raped Shuichi? Who do you think saved him? Well it's kind of obvious anyway I hope you all liked this chapter so please Review to keep this alive!**


	6. Chapter 6:Will you be with me?

**Authors Note: Alright update time as usual it's a good day. Any who thank you to the reviewers. Now to begin this story I haven't updated in a while because I'm working on a novel with my friend Carla. So yah, sorry again**

**Previously on The Ghost of You:** **"Hiro stop please all I want is you" liar a voice said in my head saying it loud and clear, he grabbed me roughly again pulling me to him tighter and he said angrily staring straight into my violet eyes.**

**"Stop lying when you look at me you see Yuki don't you? Don't you? He said a bit louder. I moved away from his grasp and I heard his soft sobs "how could I have being so stupid to actually believe you would want me?" I moved forward grasping him tightly**

**"Hiro I do want you" I said smiling happily why are you such a liar? The voice repeated in an angry tone. He pushed me and I fell to the ground with a thud and I looked at him a few tears dribbling down my eyes, his voice was full of anger and betrayal**

**"Get out of my sight you disgust me" I looked at him my knees wobbling; my head bowed my head shaking softly my pink hair falling over my eyes.**

**"Hiro, why don't you want me?" I said my voice slightly strained and saddened, he said softly with a bit of anger behind it "you don't want me all you want his him" he said his feet clicking on the ground behind him and I was left on the ground, withered and alone. I felt my body get up I needed to get home, but home to who and to where. If I returned to Hiro's would he accept me?**

**I sniffled slightly it was already 8 by the time I had finished walking the streets around town and I noticed I was in the bad part of town, I didn't care anymore. As I was heading toward Hiro's maybe if we talked about it, we could work it out. I felt a pair of cold hands touch me.**

**Enter Lemon... (This is rape so be warned I tried not to go into much detail for this)**

**I turned and noticed a man he was in his early twenties he had long black hair and bright blue eyes he had a semi muscular body he wore a long black trench coat and a button down shirt he moved toward and cupped my chin and said in a lazy tone**

**"You ,looking for a good time beautiful?" I shivered and moved away quickly he pulled me back and gripped me rougher and said it again louder and I nodded no and he laughed coldly stroking my hair and pulling it roughly**

**"Well you don't have a choice" he said sliding his fingers under my shirt stroking my skin lightly. I felt my tears prick up and I cried softly as his hands stroked my crotch**

**"Stop crying beautiful I'll make you feel good" I started to cry louder as he unzipped my pants and he placed his lips over my erection I cried and had no choice but to moan into the pleasure I felt my erection pulse and spill forth he smiled evilly and sucked it dry and I cried louder. He looked at me and smirked "You like that you little bitch" he raised his hand and slapped my ass and I cried out my tears coming faster and faster "Shut up you stupid whore"**

**He slapped me across the face holding me against the wall and he undid his pants and his large erection was placed at my hole he roughly shoved himself in, I cried out in pain I felt my ass ripping in pain and I had no choice but to accept it. I heard his loud grunts of pleasure and I felt his erection convulse and ejaculate I felt my body fall to the ground in a heap and he moved forward and uttered**

**"See you around beautiful" and he left me their feeling used and abused. My mind was spinning the tears I held back released and I cried, I cried for Hiro , I cried for this, I cried for Yuki and most of all I cried for myself I needed a razor and I needed it now but I couldn't find anything and I felt myself become sick. I needed to get out but my body just would not move and I felt my body become weak.**

**"Yuki" My head hit the cement and I felt two arms encircle me I remembered a figure carrying me back I remembered feelings his warm hands and his soothing voice. I remember the distant look of blonde.**

**Chapter 6: Will you be with me?**

**Yuki's P.O.V (Finally)**

I looked down at his sleeping figure and stroked his hair I remembered how I had found him I was walking down the street and heard a tussle and looked to see what was going on and their lying in his own puddle of blood was Shuichi.

I had moved so fast I had picked him up gently and I placed him in my arms and I felt a tear slid down on his face and I almost cried _poor Shuichi _I felt my blood boil whoever did this would pay dearly. I carried him quickly to my apartment lying him gently down into the bed I saw the blood drip from his wounds and I quickly got a towel; I felt his breathing quiet down as he drifted off to sleep.

"Shuichi why were you out there alone?" I uttered stroking back his pink hair watching the way if fell over his body. I felt my body start to get sleepy and I placed myself into the bed next to him _just like old times._ Shuichi groaned and rolled over so he was lying on my chest and he held me gently. That night I had finally gotten a good night sleep, The next morning I felt a body stir beside me and I heard his breath quicken I opened my eyes to find a shaking Shuichi

"Yuki what am I doing in your bed?" he said quietly I moved forward and told him the story he smiled warmly he hugged me gently my member strained under the covers. I pushed him away quickly I couldn't let him see me this way I mean he was just raped as it is. That brat had no idea how much I had missed his little body and his gentle touches and the way he would tell me how much he loved me. It warmed my cold heart to the core, this little brat had really left an impact on my life.

Shuichi moved forward "thank you Yuki" he said again bowing his head I grasped his chin and tilted his head upward his swan like neck exposed "Where was Hiro when this was all happening?" He stopped breathing and didn't reply he moved away sitting at the edge of the bed closing his eyes, his breathing was quicker and more abnormal.

I reached for my cigarettes and uttered in my usual tone while puffing the cigarette in the air "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" he moved toward me and uttered very quietly

"But I want to"

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I don't know what had possessed me to tell Yuki the story he looked at me curiously as I told him my story. He looked away and said clearly "well so does Hiro know what happened tonight?" I nodded no and he sighed my eyes watered slightly and I curled up into a ball and wrapped my arms around myself. Yuki moved behind and placed his arms around me and uttered softly into my ear

"If he really loved you why would he let you go?" I shivered and started to cry harder my tears dropped faster and faster. He held me and I cried. I cried in Eiri Yuki's arms, I cried for what I had lost for what I could never have.

It felt right being in Yuki's arms again like old times he tilted my chin upwards and he placed his lips over mine I moaned softly and wrapped my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. We separated looking deeply in each others eyes, golden brown met violet and he moved away quickly

"I'm sorry I took advantage of you" I laughed and blushed and looked away "You didn't take advantage of me I liked" I covered my mouth quickly and moved away from him. I felt his body jump onto mine and he uttered again

"So you liked it did you?" he said while stroking the side of my body gently causing me to shiver in pleasure. "Yuki" I uttered in a husky tone. I moved away No remember what he did to you but I miss him so much, so much it hurt I needed a blade. He stroked my face gently trailing his fingers up and down my body.

My mind was in a conflict could I really go back to Eiri Yuki after everything? He looked at me his eyes glazed over with lust I remembered this face well. When he was drunk or if he was sober this face always managed to arouse me.

"Yuki do you miss me?" He looked at me and pulled my chin upwards "What do you think?" he uttered placing his lips over mine quickly and I felt every emotion every sin everything was placed into one kiss.

I had missed him so much I had missed his touch, his love and most of all him. The bed shifted when we moved and we both separated we blushed and looked away from each other what could I say?

"Shuichi will you give me another chance?" he said softly my eyes widened and I looked at him gently and I moved toward him the words at the tip of my tongue could I really take him back? Could I really forget everything? My body quivered as the words itched to be set free, I felt my hands become clammy and I started to break out into a cold sweat. Images of us, images of abuse everything was flooding into my mind at this one second I had to answer I had to answer Eiri Yuki.

"Yuki I"

**End Chapter**

**Authors note: Sorry to make it a cliffy I mean I didn't want to but it just seemed right I'm kind of writing another story to so if I don't update for awhile its not because I don't like you guys it's because of that.**


	7. Chapter 7: How long will our love last?

**Authors Note: Sorry I haven't been updating I was busy with school and writing that other story I would like to thank the reviewers for still staying around even when I didn't update in awhile**

**This chapter is a Hiro/ Shuichi its still Shuichi and Yuki they may not end up together in the end you'll see when I continue this story.**

**Previously on The ghost of you:** I looked down at his sleeping figure and stroked his hair I remembered how I had found him I was walking down the street and heard a tussle and looked to see what was going on and their lying in his own puddle of blood was Shuichi.

I had moved so fast I had picked him up gently and I placed him in my arms and I felt a tear slid down on his face and I almost cried _poor Shuichi _I felt my blood boil whoever did this would pay dearly. I carried him quickly to my apartment lying him gently down into the bed I saw the blood drip from his wounds and I quickly got a towel; I felt his breathing quiet down as he drifted off to sleep.

"Shuichi why were you out there alone?" I uttered stroking back his pink hair watching the way if fell over his body. I felt my body start to get sleepy and I placed myself into the bed next to him _just like old times._ Shuichi groaned and rolled over so he was lying on my chest and he held me gently. That night I had finally gotten a good night sleep, The next morning I felt a body stir beside me and I heard his breath quicken I opened my eyes to find a shaking Shuichi

"Yuki what am I doing in your bed?" he said quietly I moved forward and told him the story he smiled warmly he hugged me gently my member strained under the covers. I pushed him away quickly I couldn't let him see me this way I mean he was just raped as it is. That brat had no idea how much I had missed his little body and his gentle touches and the way he would tell me how much he loved me. It warmed my cold heart to the core, this little brat had really left an impact on my life.

Shuichi moved forward "thank you Yuki" he said again bowing his head I grasped his chin and tilted his head upward his swan like neck exposed "Where was Hiro when this was all happening?" He stopped breathing and didn't reply he moved away sitting at the edge of the bed closing his eyes, his breathing was quicker and more abnormal.

I reached for my cigarettes and uttered in my usual tone while puffing the cigarette in the air "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" he moved toward me and uttered very quietly

"But I want to"

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I don't know what had possessed me to tell Yuki the story he looked at me curiously as I told him my story. He looked away and said clearly "well so does Hiro know what happened tonight?" I nodded no and he sighed my eyes watered slightly and I curled up into a ball and wrapped my arms around myself. Yuki moved behind and placed his arms around me and uttered softly into my ear

"If he really loved you why would he let you go?" I shivered and started to cry harder my tears dropped faster and faster. He held me and I cried. I cried in Eiri Yuki's arms, I cried for what I had lost for what I could never have.

It felt right being in Yuki's arms again like old times he tilted my chin upwards and he placed his lips over mine I moaned softly and wrapped my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. We separated looking deeply in each others eyes, golden brown met violet and he moved away quickly

"I'm sorry I took advantage of you" I laughed and blushed and looked away "You didn't take advantage of me I liked" I covered my mouth quickly and moved away from him. I felt his body jump onto mine and he uttered again

"So you liked it did you?" he said while stroking the side of my body gently causing me to shiver in pleasure. "Yuki" I uttered in a husky tone. I moved away No remember what he did to you but I miss him so much, so much it hurt I needed a blade. He stroked my face gently trailing his fingers up and down my body.

My mind was in a conflict could I really go back to Eiri Yuki after everything? He looked at me his eyes glazed over with lust I remembered this face well. When he was drunk or if he was sober this face always managed to arouse me.

"Yuki do you miss me?" He looked at me and pulled my chin upwards "What do you think?" he uttered placing his lips over mine quickly and I felt every emotion every sin everything was placed into one kiss.

I had missed him so much I had missed his touch, his love and most of all him. The bed shifted when we moved and we both separated we blushed and looked away from each other what could I say?

"Shuichi will you give me another chance?" he said softly my eyes widened and I looked at him gently and I moved toward him the words at the tip of my tongue could I really take him back? Could I really forget everything? My body quivered as the words itched to be set free, I felt my hands become clammy and I started to break out into a cold sweat. Images of us, images of abuse everything was flooding into my mind at this one second I had to answer I had to answer Eiri Yuki.

"Yuki I"

**Chapter 7: Will our happiness last?**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

"Yuki I think I'll take you back" I uttered his golden eyes glimmered with happiness and he pulled me forward his lips claimed mine in a heated kiss. I moaned slightly weaving my fingers in his blonde hair.

Yuki separated from me and pulled me forward so I was straddling him "Shuichi I have never being so happy to see my pink haired baka" I blushed at the pet name but something in the pit of my stomach told me something was wrong, that something was going to go wrong.

Wasn't I supposed to feel safe in his arms? Wasn't I supposed to feel love? Then why did I feel like this was all wrong? His lips were kissing my shoulder and I shuddered in disgust.

"Yuki" I uttered helplessly under my breath he looked up and smiled. I smelt something, something not right.

The air smelt of cheap perfume and I pushed him away quickly his eyes shone in surprise "what is it?" he said putting his hand on me. I pulled away in disgust and I cried softly how could I have believed him? I got up and uttered softly

"Cheating on me with some girl right Eiri?" He looked at me and dropped his head his fingers weaving through his hair and he shot his head up "I didn't mean to, it was when you were gone I was lonely" he said softly the tears prickling in his eyes.

"If you really missed me that much you wouldn't have done it "I replied looking away the tears trickling down my eyes falling on the ground my feet passing over the ground as I hurried out the door.

As the door slammed behind me I didn't hear Yuki's choked sob and his lonely

"Don't leave me alone again".

My eyes turned angry and I screamed angrily it had started to rain and my hair stuck to my face

"I can't believe I thought you changed, I can't..." my voice died as the tears fell down my eyes. I sat down in the pouring rain and I cried sobbing to the world to erase this bitter pain. I had given him my heart and yet again he had ripped it out. He had made me feel like a child all over again. He had betrayed me and I had willing fell into his trap.

As the rain started to stop I felt a warm hand touch me and I looked up and I gasped

"Hiro" I uttered his hair was clinging to his body it looked like he was tired and was exhausted. "Were you looking for me all night"? I uttered he blushed slightly and turned away and nodded.

He picked me up gently pulling me to my feet and I hugged him tightly telling him everything that happened as we headed toward his house. He held me most of the way and as we headed inside he lay me down and uttered gently

"I'm sorry Shuichi" he uttered tucking me gently into bed and I curled up in the covers. I felt his soft hands hold me and caress me and I moaned slightly.

I hugged him as I slept, I felt safe in his arms, I felt loved and most of all I felt like I was needed but as I slept I still always thought of him my blonde haired beauty. It didn't matter if Hiro made me feel loved or safe it was always him.

It just wasn't fair, Could I never find peace? Could I go on living like this? My mind whirled and I eventually fell asleep one thing on my mind.

_Yuki..._

**Authors note: So as you can see Shuichi may not end up with Yuki but he always still thinks of him, even after everything he did to him he still thinks of him. Do you think Shuichi should end up Yuki or Hiro, Review and give me ideas.**


	8. Chapter 8:Friendship

**Authors note: Thank you to all the reviewers I'm happy I have 20 story alerts. This chapter will center on Yuki and how he feels about all of this and their may be so interaction between him and Shuichi.**

**Previously on The Ghost Of You:** The air smelt of cheap perfume and I pushed him away quickly his eyes shone in surprise "what is it?" he said putting his hand on me. I pulled away in disgust and I cried softly how could I have believed him? I got up and uttered softly

"Cheating on me with some girl right Eiri?" He looked at me and dropped his head his fingers weaving through his hair and he shot his head up "I didn't mean to, it was when you were gone I was lonely" he said softly the tears prickling in his eyes.

"If you really missed me that much you wouldn't have done it "I replied looking away the tears trickling down my eyes falling on the ground my feet passing over the ground as I hurried out the door.

As the door slammed behind me I didn't hear Yuki's choked sob and his lonely

"Don't leave me alone again".

My eyes turned angry and I screamed angrily it had started to rain and my hair stuck to my face

"I can't believe I thought you changed, I can't..." my voice died as the tears fell down my eyes. I sat down in the pouring rain and I cried sobbing to the world to erase this bitter pain. I had given him my heart and yet again he had ripped it out. He had made me feel like a child all over again. He had betrayed me and I had willing fell into his trap.

As the rain started to stop I felt a warm hand touch me and I looked up and I gasped

"Hiro" I uttered his hair was clinging to his body it looked like he was tired and was exhausted. "Were you looking for me all night"? I uttered he blushed slightly and turned away and nodded.

He picked me up gently pulling me to my feet and I hugged him tightly telling him everything that happened as we headed toward his house. He held me most of the way and as we headed inside he lay me down and uttered gently

"I'm sorry Shuichi" he uttered tucking me gently into bed and I curled up in the covers. I felt his soft hands hold me and caress me and I moaned slightly.

I hugged him as I slept, I felt safe in his arms, I felt loved and most of all I felt like I was needed but as I slept I still always thought of him my blonde haired beauty. It didn't matter if Hiro made me feel loved or safe it was always him.

It just wasn't fair, Could I never find peace? Could I go on living like this? My mind whirled and I eventually fell asleep one thing on my mind.

_Yuki..._

**Chapter 8: Friendship…**

**Yuki's P.O.V**

I sat in the spot where Shuichi had just left, what was wrong with me? I wanted to be with him but I couldn't control my cheating. Did I miss him so much that I would go and cheat on him with someone to make me feel whole again? I ran my fingers through my blonde hair watching the soft tendrils fall over my face and glisten in the room. Everything around me was spinning, the ground had gotten smaller and I felt myself fall, fall deeper into my own pit of despair. All this work all this stress it was causing my ulcer to act crazy.

I heard a loud knocking at my door and the scream of surprise from brother in law Tohma Seguchi. I felt his warm hands surround me I leaned into his arms muttering "Shuichi" under my breath. That was the last conscious thing I remember saying or doing.

I heard the soft voices of people and my body being surrounded by a soft bed and warm blankets lined with fur. I opened my eyes lazily and I scanned the room everyone was here even Shuichi. As usual he looked uncomfortable as I heard Tohma's voice lecture him but I only caught a few words because I was still half asleep.

"You did this to him"

"No I didn't"

"You should have stayed with him"

"Would you stay with someone who ch"

I felt Tohma wrap his arms around me quickly as he swiftly walked away from Shuichi, "So Eiri how are you feeling?" he uttered I lazily muttered ok and I saw Shuichi's face smile happily in the corner. I noticed Hiro's hand lazily lingering on Shuichi's pale skin. I growled softly causing Tohma to look over.

Shuichi moved toward me and he asked me stoically "Are you ok?" I moved toward him touching his face gently. He angrily pushed my hand away and Hiro now stood in front of me "don't touch him" I growled and I stood up quickly knocking over the chair beside my bed.

"I'll touch him all I want" I yelled grabbing Hiro by the neck pinning him to the wall. I felt Shuichi touch my back and he uttered weakly

"Please don't hurt him" I growled and dropped him and grabbed Shuichi pulling him out of the room. He tried to pull away but I held him tighter.

As we made it to the hallway he glared and pulled out of my grasp quickly

"What do you want from me" he yelled angrily his pink hair whipping around him like a halo.

"I'm sorry" I uttered gently he looked at me his violet eyes cold as ice.

"You're sorry, you're fucking sorry I don't need your excuses I trusted you and this is what you do, nothing has changed at all" I moved forward

"Please can't you give me another chance" I said pleading with him bending on one knee it was like I was proposing marriage to him. He looked at me gently placing his fingers in my blonde hair

"Yuki I'm sorry but I don't want to be hurt again" he said softly. I moved forward quickly pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Shuichi I know I've hurt you but let's start over I'm Eiri Yuki" I said looking into his eyes. He slowly took my hand from now on I would try to be friends with Shuichi and then I would get back my Shuichi.

I grabbed him and pulled him forward "So you want to do something tomorrow" I uttered breathing on his neck gently. He nodded blushing slightly.

As I walked back to my room smiling happily tomorrow I would start over with Shuichi Shindou.

**Authors note: so what did you guys think? Good bad. So.so **

**So Give me some good ideas and I'll continue. **


	9. Chapter 9: The Date Part 1

**Authors note: Sorry it took so long I was trying to get the vampire chronicle books so I have been distracted so I hope you're all happy with this chapter.**

**Previously on The ghost of you: **I heard a loud knocking at my door and the scream of surprise from brother in law Tohma Seguchi. I felt his warm hands surround me I leaned into his arms muttering "Shuichi" under my breath. That was the last conscious thing I remember saying or doing.

I heard the soft voices of people and my body being surrounded by a soft bed and warm blankets lined with fur. I opened my eyes lazily and I scanned the room everyone was here even Shuichi. As usual he looked uncomfortable as I heard Tohma's voice lecture him but I only caught a few words because I was still half asleep.

"You did this to him"

"No I didn't"

"You should have stayed with him"

"Would you stay with someone who ch"

I felt Tohma wrap his arms around me quickly as he swiftly walked away from Shuichi, "So Eiri how are you feeling?" he uttered I lazily muttered ok and I saw Shuichi's face smile happily in the corner. I noticed Hiro's hand lazily lingering on Shuichi's pale skin. I growled softly causing Tohma to look over.

Shuichi moved toward me and he asked me stoically "Are you ok?" I moved toward him touching his face gently. He angrily pushed my hand away and Hiro now stood in front of me "don't touch him" I growled and I stood up quickly knocking over the chair beside my bed.

"I'll touch him all I want" I yelled grabbing Hiro by the neck pinning him to the wall. I felt Shuichi touch my back and he uttered weakly

"Please don't hurt him" I growled and dropped him and grabbed Shuichi pulling him out of the room. He tried to pull away but I held him tighter.

As we made it to the hallway he glared and pulled out of my grasp quickly

"What do you want from me" he yelled angrily his pink hair whipping around him like a halo.

"I'm sorry" I uttered gently he looked at me his violet eyes cold as ice.

"You're sorry, you're fucking sorry I don't need your excuses I trusted you and this is what you do, nothing has changed at all" I moved forward

"Please can't you give me another chance" I said pleading with him bending on one knee it was like I was proposing marriage to him. He looked at me gently placing his fingers in my blonde hair

"Yuki I'm sorry but I don't want to be hurt again" he said softly. I moved forward quickly pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Shuichi I know I've hurt you but let's start over I'm Eiri Yuki" I said looking into his eyes. He slowly took my hand from now on I would try to be friends with Shuichi and then I would get back my Shuichi.

I grabbed him and pulled him forward "So you want to do something tomorrow" I uttered breathing on his neck gently. He nodded blushing slightly.

As I walked back to my room smiling happily tomorrow I would start over with Shuichi Shindou.

**Chapter 9: Date Part 1**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I felt nervous my hands were clammy my legs were wobbling. If you were to look at me you would see a calm, collected pink haired boy but at this very moment all I wanted to do was sit in a closet and never come out. To bad I had already come out of the closet. I laughed softly my gay jokes just weren't funny.

I looked at my watch nervously and shook my head and I heard the doorbell ring and I jumped I swore I literally got an erection when the doorbell rang. My pants seemed tighter and I groaned softly and mumbled under my breath.

"I hate you Eiri Yuki"

I heard the doorbell ring more and more and I shouted in an agitated voice "Coming" I slid down the stairs my loose fitting white shirt clinging to my skin my charcoal colored pants fitted me like a second skin.

My pink hair was brushed and appeared shiny in the light. I looked sexy if I do say so myself, I opened the door and looked around there standing in a long black shirt was Yuki. His blonde haired covered his face and it seemed to glow.

I felt my face heat up and I reached forward and gave him a gentle hug. His long arms wrapped around me and he grabbed my arm and he led me toward the car. The music blared as we stepped in.

I felt him utter gently "So where do you want to go?" I leaned back and didn't reply I didn't really care. He placed his hand over mine and he said gently

"How about in the park?" he questioned, my violet eyes widened in happiness. Did he mean the park? Where we met my face brightened slightly and I nodded yes.

As we arrived there he grabbed my arm and we set up our blanket and I looked around. The park was quiet the air was warm and the trees were blowing lazily around us. He brought out the food and my face lit up.

Strawberry pockey, He smiled and handed it to me and my eyes lit up and I ate it quickly. I felt all the sugar rush to my head and I squealed in delight. Sugar Freeze was that even possible? Yuki shook his head and muttered

"Damn brats don't eat so fast" I spit it out getting some on Yuki's face. He looked at me and his eyes seemed to twitch. I rushed forward wiping it off. Yuki moved forward and grasped my hand.

"You damn brat you know how all night I have been trying to resist you" He moved his fingers through my hair and I moaned slightly. I moved away quickly

"Aren't we supposed to just be acting like friends?" I uttered his tongue gently caressed my skin. I looked away and whined gently

"Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" he looked at me and smiled and let me go and he sat down beside the tree. He said quickly "Do you remember the first day we met?" he uttered gently pointing to the all to familiar bench.

I smiled gently and uttered back with a slight chuckle "How could I forget?" I remembered it all too well the blowing paper and the all to familiar "You have no zero talent" I laughed at the memory and Yuki chuckled to

"You know you still have zero talent" he said flicking his fingers through his hair. I growled back angrily and screamed

"I have talent you're just blind" I screamed he shook his head throwing an acorn at my head and I growled in anger, stupid Yuki and his stupid acorn.

For about an hour we just sat their enjoying each others company I looked at the watch and sighed.

"I have to get back soon" I said and sighed tonight Hiro was coming and I didn't want to tell Yuki that you know. We were having some a wonderful evening I didn't want to ruin the evening.

Yuki smiled and replied "but the night is so young" he said suggestively and I blushed and slapped him gently.

"I have to get back I have a busy day" I replied and he smiled and pulled me forward and pulled me back into the car.

As we drove to my house he leaned forward and he said gently "How about Thursday at 2pm" he uttered and I nodded gently he leaned forward kissing me gently. I literally melted in his grasp and he let me go smiling sweetly.

"See you Thursday" I quickly bounded out of the car and waved I felt like a school girl after sex and as I was about to bound into my house and scream how happy I was I saw a very angry Hiro standing at the door.

**So what did you guys think good or bad? Comment and please help me think of new ideas.**


	10. Chapter 10: Break ups and Accidents

**Authors note: Wow Thank you to all the reviewers sorry I haven't updated in awhile the teachers are starting to really pile on the work. Well at least a Christmas break is coming, now enough of this on with the story.**

**Previously on the Ghost of you:** "I hate you Eiri Yuki"

I heard the doorbell ring more and more and I shouted in an agitated voice "Coming" I slid down the stairs my loose fitting white shirt clinging to my skin my charcoal colored pants fitted me like a second skin.

My pink hair was brushed and appeared shiny in the light. I looked sexy if I do say so myself, I opened the door and looked around there standing in a long black shirt was Yuki. His blonde haired covered his face and it seemed to glow.

I felt my face heat up and I reached forward and gave him a gentle hug. His long arms wrapped around me and he grabbed my arm and he led me toward the car. The music blared as we stepped in.

I felt him utter gently "So where do you want to go?" I leaned back and didn't reply I didn't really care. He placed his hand over mine and he said gently

"How about in the park?" he questioned, my violet eyes widened in happiness. Did he mean the park? Where we met my face brightened slightly and I nodded yes.

As we arrived there he grabbed my arm and we set up our blanket and I looked around. The park was quiet the air was warm and the trees were blowing lazily around us. He brought out the food and my face lit up.

Strawberry pockey, He smiled and handed it to me and my eyes lit up and I ate it quickly. I felt all the sugar rush to my head and I squealed in delight. Sugar Freeze was that even possible? Yuki shook his head and muttered

"Damn brats don't eat so fast" I spit it out getting some on Yuki's face. He looked at me and his eyes seemed to twitch. I rushed forward wiping it off. Yuki moved forward and grasped my hand.

"You damn brat you know how all night I have been trying to resist you" He moved his fingers through my hair and I moaned slightly. I moved away quickly

"Aren't we supposed to just be acting like friends?" I uttered his tongue gently caressed my skin. I looked away and whined gently

"Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" he looked at me and smiled and let me go and he sat down beside the tree. He said quickly "Do you remember the first day we met?" he uttered gently pointing to the all to familiar bench.

I smiled gently and uttered back with a slight chuckle "How could I forget?" I remembered it all too well the blowing paper and the all to familiar "You have no zero talent" I laughed at the memory and Yuki chuckled to

"You know you still have zero talent" he said flicking his fingers through his hair. I growled back angrily and screamed

"I have talent you're just blind" I screamed he shook his head throwing an acorn at my head and I growled in anger, stupid Yuki and his stupid acorn.

For about an hour we just sat their enjoying each others company I looked at the watch and sighed.

"I have to get back soon" I said and sighed tonight Hiro was coming and I didn't want to tell Yuki that you know. We were having some a wonderful evening I didn't want to ruin the evening.

Yuki smiled and replied "but the night is so young" he said suggestively and I blushed and slapped him gently.

"I have to get back I have a busy day" I replied and he smiled and pulled me forward and pulled me back into the car.

As we drove to my house he leaned forward and he said gently "How about Thursday at 2pm" he uttered and I nodded gently he leaned forward kissing me gently. I literally melted in his grasp and he let me go smiling sweetly.

"See you Thursday" I quickly bounded out of the car and waved I felt like a school girl after sex and as I was about to bound into my house and scream how happy I was I saw a very angry Hiro standing at the door.

**Chapter 10: I don't think I'll ever understand**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

Hiro stared at me coldly and I moved past him pushing him out of my way.

"Did you have fun on your date?" he said angrily sarcasm laced in his voice. I glared at him not replying just staring straight ahead of me. Hiro grabbed me harshly pushing me roughly against the wall. I looked down at him not saying anything still.

I don't know where it came from but my soft voice interrupted his rage

"Hiro, why won't you let me be happy?" he dropped me on the ground with a thud and I looked up at him and his fists clenched and unclenched. He pulled me up gently. "I just don't want you to get hurt again" he said softly.

I laughed coldly my voice echoing over the room "you don't want me to be happy you just want yourself to be happy" I felt his hand backhand me quickly and I clutched my red cheek tightly and looked up at him gently my eyes tearing gently.

"Don't ever think for minute I would only want my own happiness I guess the thing is I wanted your happiness a bit too much" he said sadly moving toward the door. I felt the soft click of the door close and I closed my eyes and let the tears run free.

_Hiro I don't think I'll ever understand maybe one day I will... _I stared at the walls and sighed softly. All Hiro ever wanted was my happiness? Was he afraid of me getting hurt? Was I afraid of getting hurt? Did it even matter anymore? I felt the coldness overtake me and my eyes watered again. I needed to get away to escape.

The coldness of the bathroom floor hit my skin and I looked around _blade, blade, and blade where are you?_ As I searched quickly the pain increased I needed to cut to escape. Where was it? I looked around the cabinets it wasn't their a little note lay in the corner.

**Dear Shuichi if you are reading this then you are most likely looking for your blade. I hate to disappoint you but I threw it out. I know you can survive without it.**

**Your friend Hiroshi Nakano**

I clutched my arms gently and I started to cry, Hiro even now he cared about me even when I treated him like dirt. I closed my eyes gently and felt the cold tile of the bathroom floor touch my skin.

The phone rang quickly and I moved quickly and picked up the phone the heavy breathing of person was heard.

"Shuichi it's me Tohma it's Hiro he's being in accident" I clutched the phone tightly and it clattered to the floor. My eyes glazed over slightly and I whimpered slightly.

"Hiro" I moved quickly toward the door a loud knock was heard and I opened it to see a saddened Yuki at the door.

"Shuichi I heard about Hiro" at those words I moved forward quickly embracing him and he calmly stroked my hair.

"It's ok i'll take you to the hospital" I smiled softly and he picked me up gently carrying me toward the door we walked slowly toward the car and got in.

As we arrived at the hospital I ran toward the secretary she directed me toward his room and as I walked in and looked. I saw something truly disturbing their laying on the bed was Hiro. His usual fair skin was paler than usual and his red hair was a mess of curls and knots.

I moved toward him ready to stroke the sweat off Hiro's forehead when I felt a cold hand touch mine. It was Hiro he looked at me and muttered under his breath

"What are you doing here"? The words struck me harshly and I cringed back in disgust.

"What do you mean what am I doing here you're my best friend of course I'm here" He looked at me strangly and rolled away on the bed facing away from me.

"Whatever you don't need to be here go hump Yuki it's what you do best" I cringed at his harsh words and moved forward quickly.

"Hiro don't be this way you know you're my best friend" His laugh was cold and bitter.

"Yah that's me only the best friend you can't see past anything to see as maybe I want you as more than a friend" I looked at him and stepped back and closed my eyes. I moved toward him and embraced him gently uttering gently in his ear.

"Hiro this is all I can do" I uttered I moved forward quickly placing my lips on top of his I watched him kiss back. His red hair moved around me gracefully and I stroked his hair gently and I held him gently.

Hiro looked at me and smiled and replied gently "Thank you Shuichi" he smiled softly and as we talked gently he held my hand and I smiled warmly down at him.

"Hiro, how did you get into an accident anyway?

**Author's Note: Well next chapter we will see how Hiro got into an accident. Maybe it had something to do with Shuichi or maybe Hiro's just a reckless driver or not careful.**


	11. Chapter 11:Goodbye

**Authors Note: Thank you to all the reviewers from the last chapter, now on with the story. Thank god Winter break is here yet my birthday is on January 6 I'm so happy.**

**Last Time on the Ghost of You:** I don't know where it came from but my soft voice interrupted his rage

"Hiro, why won't you let me be happy?" he dropped me on the ground with a thud and I looked up at him and his fists clenched and unclenched. He pulled me up gently. "I just don't want you to get hurt again" he said softly.

I laughed coldly my voice echoing over the room "you don't want me to be happy you just want yourself to be happy" I felt his hand backhand me quickly and I clutched my red cheek tightly and looked up at him gently my eyes tearing gently.

"Don't ever think for minute I would only want my own happiness I guess the thing is I wanted your happiness a bit too much" he said sadly moving toward the door. I felt the soft click of the door close and I closed my eyes and let the tears run free.

_Hiro I don't think I'll ever understand maybe one day I will... _I stared at the walls and sighed softly. All Hiro ever wanted was my happiness? Was he afraid of me getting hurt? Was I afraid of getting hurt? Did it even matter anymore? I felt the coldness overtake me and my eyes watered again. I needed to get away to escape.

The coldness of the bathroom floor hit my skin and I looked around _blade, blade, and blade where are you?_ As I searched quickly the pain increased I needed to cut to escape. Where was it? I looked around the cabinets it wasn't their a little note lay in the corner.

**Dear Shuichi if you are reading this then you are most likely looking for your blade. I hate to disappoint you but I threw it out. I know you can survive without it.**

**Your friend Hiroshi Nakano**

I clutched my arms gently and I started to cry, Hiro even now he cared about me even when I treated him like dirt. I closed my eyes gently and felt the cold tile of the bathroom floor touch my skin.

The phone rang quickly and I moved quickly and picked up the phone the heavy breathing of person was heard.

"Shuichi it's me Tohma it's Hiro he's being in accident" I clutched the phone tightly and it clattered to the floor. My eyes glazed over slightly and I whimpered slightly.

"Hiro" I moved quickly toward the door a loud knock was heard and I opened it to see a saddened Yuki at the door.

"Shuichi I heard about Hiro" at those words I moved forward quickly embracing him and he calmly stroked my hair.

"It's ok i'll take you to the hospital" I smiled softly and he picked me up gently carrying me toward the door we walked slowly toward the car and got in.

As we arrived at the hospital I ran toward the secretary she directed me toward his room and as I walked in and looked. I saw something truly disturbing their laying on the bed was Hiro. His usual fair skin was paler than usual and his red hair was a mess of curls and knots.

I moved toward him ready to stroke the sweat off Hiro's forehead when I felt a cold hand touch mine. It was Hiro he looked at me and muttered under his breath

"What are you doing here"? The words struck me harshly and I cringed back in disgust.

"What do you mean what am I doing here you're my best friend of course I'm here" He looked at me strangly and rolled away on the bed facing away from me.

"Whatever you don't need to be here go hump Yuki it's what you do best" I cringed at his harsh words and moved forward quickly.

"Hiro don't be this way you know you're my best friend" His laugh was cold and bitter.

"Yah that's me only the best friend you can't see past anything to see as maybe I want you as more than a friend" I looked at him and stepped back and closed my eyes. I moved toward him and embraced him gently uttering gently in his ear.

"Hiro this is all I can do" I uttered I moved forward quickly placing my lips on top of his I watched him kiss back. His red hair moved around me gracefully and I stroked his hair gently and I held him gently.

Hiro looked at me and smiled and replied gently "Thank you Shuichi" he smiled softly and as we talked gently he held my hand and I smiled warmly down at him.

"Hiro, how did you get into an accident anyway?

**Chapter 11:Goodbye**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I heard Hiro's voice tighten and his breathing increased why was he so nervous? I touched his hand gently and he looked at me.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" I uttered gently releasing his hand. He grasped my hand.

"I think you should know Shuichi" he uttered stroking the cut lines visible on his right wrist.

_Flashback…_

**Hiro's P.O.V**

I remember it like it was just a few minutes ago. I had just fought with Shuichi my palms were shaking and my anger was explosive I could just. No I could never kill no matter how angry I was

**Something's wrong with me,  
Cause I can't even feel you now  
Or know that this is real.**

**Am I blind to see that there's something there behind your eyes  
And it's bringing me to my knees.**

We had being friends since I could remember and this Eiri Yuki just gets in the way. I held the ignition and growled in anger. I got off my bike and angrily walked toward the house.

Why did I bother? Was he really worth all this trouble? I walked to the bathroom and looked at Shuichi's blade. Could I really do this? I felt like crap and I just wanted to die. So maybe I sound a little emotional or emo as we call it know. All because of you I would do this and all you see is him.

**All I want is you and I don't care  
All I want is you and I don't care  
Cause all I do is wait in, wondering and hoping, that we'll survive it.  
I know that all this is true.  
All because of you. **

Cut, slice, blood wound, that's all I saw every stab I made I just saw red. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Eiri Yuki novelist extraordinary a man that could do no wrong and there I was everything I do is wrong.

**Something's wrong with you,  
The walls you build around you now,  
Seem to fit you like a glove.  
Something's wrong with you,**

All these walls you build do you know how you hurt me? Do you even care? I felt the blood loss and smiled, finally another step closer to perfection. I heard the scream of a woman and I smiled and licked my lips and raised the blood and licked it slowly off the blade like a pockey stick. Was that Ayaka did it matter? I felt my body slowly hit the ground and I smiled.

Stars danced around me and a soft voice held me and soothed me. It stroked my hair and I smiled melting into his embrace. All I saw was pink and beautiful violet eyes.

**Cause stars cannot be found in clouds that cover up their love.  
Cause all I do is wait in, wondering and hoping, that we'll survive it.  
I know that all this is true.  
All because of you.**

I remember the hospital officials and I remember the bed and I remembered you.

_End flashback…_

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I stared at Hiro and moved forward holding his gently and I stroked his hair gently. He moved my face up so his fingers were lightly dancing on my skin.

**All I ever wanted  
was to be at your service  
but now I'm alone  
cause you were here and you're gone**

"Shuichi be happy just let me be happy" I felt his warm hand go cold and I looked up and gasped around him lay a pool, a pool of blood. I guess as he was telling me that story he was slowly dying. My eyes shook and I screamed the nurses ran and she gasped and Yuki walked in and covered his mouth in shock. I lay there in Hiro's blood it dribbled off my skin landing on the floor. I felt the nurses start to pull me away and I screamed moving forward

**And all I ever wanted  
was to feel I had a purpose  
but now that's all gone**

"No don't take me away, please don't take me away from him" the desperation in my voice was so sad, so lonely. How could he have died? His arm was all stitched up. I heard a doctor murmur under his breath in the corner.

"That kid undid his stitches did he want to die or something?"

I clutched the floor and I fell. I had no one I was alone, no one to hold me when I was sad, and No one to make me feel loved. I saw his blood fall onto the ground from his dead corpse his beautiful long red hair danced around him. He was beautiful even in death and he was all mine.

**But if you could give me  
just one love  
just one life  
just one chance to believe in mine  
just one love  
just one life  
you'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
Bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

How could I have ignored Hiro's love? How could I be so heartless? Hiro come back. Say it isn't so? Say you aren't really dead? Say you'll be here to tomorrow say your mine again.

I lay their quietly sitting on the floor looking at the walls gently rubbing my eyes quietly. I remembered every look, every smile. Hiro was he was my lover and my best friend.

**All I ever wanted  
was to be what you needed  
cause something so strong  
it could never be wrong.  
And all I can promise  
is to say what I'm feeling  
We've made it so long**

Yuki sat beside me and I moved away I couldn't stand him right now. I just wanted to be alone. He moved to hold me and I slapped his hand away.

"Just leave me alone" Yuki moved toward me and he gently held me and I cried out and pushed him away.

"Stop it" I screamed I just wanted Hiro I just wanted everything to be the way it was supposed to be.

I pushed him away again and punched him he caught my wrist easily.

"Do you think Hiro would want you to be this way?" I felt the hot tears slid down my face and onto the floor.

**  
But if you could give me  
just one love  
just one life  
just one chance to believe in mine  
just one love  
just one life  
you'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
You'd bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

"How could you ever understand what Hiro wanted he hated you?" Yuki moved forward gently and he held me in his arms.

"I understood one thing we both wanted you to be happy"

**Just one love in my life...  
You'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
Bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

As Yuki held me I felt my body become sleepy and I fell into his arms he smiled gently removing the hair from my face and I closed my eyes.

_Hiro…_

**Authors note: I literally cried when I wrote this chapter, the two songs I used was all because of you and bleed for me by saliva. Review and I'll update poor Hiro. I'm still crying.**


	12. Chapter 12:Trials PT 1

**Author Notes: Well in the last chapter our dear friend Hiro died but don't worry Shuichi will make amends with Hiro in a sense. Did I mention I'm dressing up as Shuichi for anime north because all my friends say I'm like him? Sweat drop**

**Previously on the Ghost Of you: Hiro's P.O.V**

I remember it like it was just a few minutes ago. I had just fought with Shuichi my palms were shaking and my anger was explosive I could just. No I could never kill no matter how angry I was

**Something's wrong with me,  
Cause I can't even feel you now  
Or know that this is real.**

**Am I blind to see that there's something there behind your eyes  
And it's bringing me to my knees.**

We had being friends since I could remember and this Eiri Yuki just gets in the way. I held the ignition and growled in anger. I got off my bike and angrily walked toward the house.

Why did I bother? Was he really worth all this trouble? I walked to the bathroom and looked at Shuichi's blade. Could I really do this? I felt like crap and I just wanted to die. So maybe I sound a little emotional or emo as we call it know. All because of you I would do this and all you see is him.

**All I want is you and I don't care  
All I want is you and I don't care  
Cause all I do is wait in, wondering and hoping, that we'll survive it.  
I know that all this is true.  
All because of you. **

Cut, slice, blood wound, that's all I saw every stab I made I just saw red. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Eiri Yuki novelist extraordinary a man that could do no wrong and there I was everything I do is wrong.

**Something's wrong with you,  
The walls you build around you now,  
Seem to fit you like a glove.  
Something's wrong with you,**

All these walls you build do you know how you hurt me? Do you even care? I felt the blood loss and smiled, finally another step closer to perfection. I heard the scream of a woman and I smiled and licked my lips and raised the blood and licked it slowly off the blade like a pockey stick. Was that Ayaka did it matter? I felt my body slowly hit the ground and I smiled.

Stars danced around me and a soft voice held me and soothed me. It stroked my hair and I smiled melting into his embrace. All I saw was pink and beautiful violet eyes.

**Cause stars cannot be found in clouds that cover up their love.  
Cause all I do is wait in, wondering and hoping, that we'll survive it.  
I know that all this is true.  
All because of you.**

I remember the hospital officials and I remember the bed and I remembered you.

_End flashback…_

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I stared at Hiro and moved forward holding his gently and I stroked his hair gently. He moved my face up so his fingers were lightly dancing on my skin.

**All I ever wanted  
was to be at your service  
but now I'm alone  
cause you were here and you're gone**

"Shuichi be happy just let me be happy" I felt his warm hand go cold and I looked up and gasped around him lay a pool, a pool of blood. I guess as he was telling me that story he was slowly dying. My eyes shook and I screamed the nurses ran and she gasped and Yuki walked in and covered his mouth in shock. I lay there in Hiro's blood it dribbled off my skin landing on the floor. I felt the nurses start to pull me away and I screamed moving forward

**And all I ever wanted  
was to feel I had a purpose  
but now that's all gone**

"No don't take me away, please don't take me away from him" the desperation in my voice was so sad, so lonely. How could he have died? His arm was all stitched up. I heard a doctor murmur under his breath in the corner.

"That kid undid his stitches did he want to die or something?"

I clutched the floor and I fell. I had no one I was alone, no one to hold me when I was sad, and No one to make me feel loved. I saw his blood fall onto the ground from his dead corpse his beautiful long red hair danced around him. He was beautiful even in death and he was all mine.

**But if you could give me  
just one love  
just one life  
just one chance to believe in mine  
just one love  
just one life  
you'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
Bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

How could I have ignored Hiro's love? How could I be so heartless? Hiro come back. Say it isn't so? Say you aren't really dead? Say you'll be here to tomorrow say your mine again.

I lay their quietly sitting on the floor looking at the walls gently rubbing my eyes quietly. I remembered every look, every smile. Hiro was he was my lover and my best friend.

**All I ever wanted  
was to be what you needed  
cause something so strong  
it could never be wrong.  
And all I can promise  
is to say what I'm feeling  
We've made it so long**

Yuki sat beside me and I moved away I couldn't stand him right now. I just wanted to be alone. He moved to hold me and I slapped his hand away.

"Just leave me alone" Yuki moved toward me and he gently held me and I cried out and pushed him away.

"Stop it" I screamed I just wanted Hiro I just wanted everything to be the way it was supposed to be.

I pushed him away again and punched him he caught my wrist easily.

"Do you think Hiro would want you to be this way?" I felt the hot tears slid down my face and onto the floor.

**  
But if you could give me  
just one love  
just one life  
just one chance to believe in mine  
just one love  
just one life  
you'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
You'd bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

"How could you ever understand what Hiro wanted he hated you?" Yuki moved forward gently and he held me in his arms.

"I understood one thing we both wanted you to be happy"

**Just one love in my life...  
You'd bleed for me  
and I didn't dare to notice you  
now I'm stuck  
out on a line.  
Bleed for me  
I didn't care to be with you  
now you're stuck in my mind**

As Yuki held me I felt my body become sleepy and I fell into his arms he smiled gently removing the hair from my face and I closed my eyes.

_Hiro…_

**Chapter 12: Trials PT 1**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

It's being a week since you have left me in this cold room I call life. I see you everywhere everything reminds me of you. The leaves outside the cherry blossoms the way the grass seems to blow with every step you took. I sit in this room and look outside Yuki has come in many times to try to cheer me up but it's useless. All I see is you come back I didn't mean it. So many things I want to tell you but no time, I look back and regret everything. Its ok I understand I have sinned.

I hear the door open and I look at the door blankly, who's come to see my pitiful soul? It's Tohma he has a stern look on his face and his hands are folded in front of him. He sits down on the bed and I look away my pink hair covering my face gently.

"Shuichi I know what you are going through must be hard" I cut him off their and slapped him harshly causing him to look up at me in shock, his beautiful emerald eyes shimmering with anger.

"How could you ever know what I'm going through, you don't know how it feels to lose your best friend?" I dropped my hands and looked down and curled up into a ball and looked away quickly.

"Just leave I just want to be alone" Tohma sighed and left the room leaving me to my thoughts. I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around myself closing my eyes gently.

_The room around me was white and the curtains around me opened up revealing feathers and a soft light. A man seemed to be wrapped in a silk blanket his hair was darkish red and white wings surrounded his body and his skin appeared a soft pale white._

_I moved forward pulling the curtain apart and gasped and covered my mouth the beautiful angel man was covered in a thin layer of blood but it made him look more beautiful. I moved forward and touched the man and he looked at me softly. _

_He grabbed my chin and looked into his beautiful eyes and I knew immediately it was_

"_Hiro" I screamed running forward grasping his body quickly he moved toward me and held me gently. _

"_Shuichi..I've waited for you to come see me I have a favor to ask of you though will you please forgive yourself. I recoiled in fear and backed away closing the curtains behind me. He pushed through the curtains and grasped me tightly and wretched away _

"_No leave me alone I won't forgive myself not EVER" He pulled me forward again his wings surrounding us creating a glow around us._

"_I've forgiven you why can't you forgive yourself" he uttered gently petting my pink hair gently._

"_No your not real Your just a FIGMENT of my worry" He laughed softly and nodded no and said softly _

"_I am Hiro Nakano's angel and I am here to help you Shuichi Shindou" I laughed hysterically _

"_You're a FIGMENT JUST A FUCKING FIGMENT" he moved toward quickly and placed his lips upon mine and his white wings tattered gently and feathers surrounded us._

"_Can't you understand I'm trying to help you?" he screamed holding his finger in front of him causing a light circle to appear he pulled me forward pushing me into it._

"_If I can't convince you I'll have to save you"_

**Meanwhile outside Shuichi's body..**

**Yuki shook Shuichi quickly crying out quickly "Shuichi Shuichi" He had started being like this since an hour ago. A doctor had come and confirmed he had fallen into a coma from stress.**

_I opened his eyes to find himself in front of Ng-Studio's I noticed Hiro was standing beside him his wings outstretched to the heavens. His white belly top gleamed silver in the light and his long white pants stood tall and brave._

"_Shuichi were here for a reason" He said softly pointing to the Ng- building. "Go in their face your fears when you are done I will be waiting for you" He said gently pushing me into the building. Unknowns to Shuichi this was only the beginning of his journey into his mind._

_I looked around what did he mean face my fears? Everything looked normal but that wouldn't last long. I heard the cry of a man and ran forward and arrived in the recording studio. It was dark and seemed deserted but as I got closer I recognized a familiar figure._

_It was me well a version of me he was on his knee's crying in the darkness. He was being pelted by paper I took a closer look and noticed the paper had lyrics on it. It was Yuki his hair was thrown back he looked good but something wasn't right here. _

_I moved toward the scene and pushed the other Shuichi away to only see myself go through him like a ghost. Yuki was laughing his cold voice was familiar and always the same._

"_You have no talent you have zero talent GIVE UP" I saw myself cry harder and I shuddered in fear. Was I really this afraid of Yuki? I moved forward touching Yuki he turned quickly and a piece of paper appeared in my hand and I gasped Yuki was smiling a cold smile his hands were clasped together and he was gently stroking me._

"_Come on throw it he won't care let him cry" I gasped and I felt my hand pull back on its own. I moved my hand to stop it and heard Yuki's cold laughter "What's wrong your lyrics suck? Just finish him now he always gives up anyway its not like he cares anyway". I looked at Yuki and felt my hand push the ball forward I moved forward holding the ball _

"_No his lyrics don't suck why can't you ever SUPPORT ME" I screamed watching the mirror image of Yuki gasp and shatter he was a mirror. I ran toward the other me and pulled him up quickly. _

"_Help me destroy him do you always want to be put down by him? Do you always want him never respecting you STAND UP FOR YOURSELF" I screamed the other Shuichi looked at me and smiled a sad smile picking up a piece of paper and throwing it and as I felt my body disappear I saw him being surrounded in light and from the room I saw him utter_

"_Thank you"…_

_I didn't know what that meant or why I was hear but maybe I was here to face what I could not face. Hear to make amends hear to finally know if I was loved. Was that Yuki my Yuki? Or was that how I perceived him. I saw the familiar figure of Hiro as I appeared in front of him he looked at me and smiled sadly._

"_Did you see what you wanted to see" he uttered quietly _

"_Yes..." I uttered gently._

_The glow around us heightened and off we went in a great adventure in my mind_

**Authors Note: So what did you guys think? Good bad? I need reviews to continue my beautiful story. So review ,review did I mention I just saw memories of a Geisha. **


	13. Chapter 13:Trials Pt 2

**Authors Note: I hope you liked Shuichi's little mind trip this trip is going to go on for awhile. Anyway thank you for the loyal reviewers their always in my heart now on with the story**

**Previously on the Ghost of You**

"Just leave I just want to be alone" Tohma sighed and left the room leaving me to my thoughts. I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around myself closing my eyes gently.

_The room around me was white and the curtains around me opened up revealing feathers and a soft light. A man seemed to be wrapped in a silk blanket his hair was darkish red and white wings surrounded his body and his skin appeared a soft pale white._

_I moved forward pulling the curtain apart and gasped and covered my mouth the beautiful angel man was covered in a thin layer of blood but it made him look more beautiful. I moved forward and touched the man and he looked at me softly. _

_He grabbed my chin and looked into his beautiful eyes and I knew immediately it was_

"_Hiro" I screamed running forward grasping his body quickly he moved toward me and held me gently. _

"_Shuichi..I've waited for you to come see me I have a favor to ask of you though will you please forgive yourself. I recoiled in fear and backed away closing the curtains behind me. He pushed through the curtains and grasped me tightly and wretched away _

"_No leave me alone I won't forgive myself not EVER" He pulled me forward again his wings surrounding us creating a glow around us._

"_I've forgiven you why can't you forgive yourself" he uttered gently petting my pink hair gently._

"_No your not real Your just a FIGMENT of my worry" He laughed softly and nodded no and said softly _

"_I am Hiro Nakano's angel and I am here to help you Shuichi Shindou" I laughed hysterically _

"_You're a FIGMENT JUST A FUCKING FIGMENT" he moved toward quickly and placed his lips upon mine and his white wings tattered gently and feathers surrounded us._

"_Can't you understand I'm trying to help you?" he screamed holding his finger in front of him causing a light circle to appear he pulled me forward pushing me into it._

"_If I can't convince you I'll have to save you"_

**Meanwhile outside Shuichi's body..**

**Yuki shook Shuichi quickly crying out quickly "Shuichi Shuichi" He had started being like this since an hour ago. A doctor had come and confirmed he had fallen into a coma from stress.**

_I opened his eyes to find himself in front of Ng-Studio's I noticed Hiro was standing beside him his wings outstretched to the heavens. His white belly top gleamed silver in the light and his long white pants stood tall and brave._

"_Shuichi were here for a reason" He said softly pointing to the Ng- building. "Go in their face your fears when you are done I will be waiting for you" He said gently pushing me into the building. Unknowns to Shuichi this was only the beginning of his journey into his mind._

_I looked around what did he mean face my fears? Everything looked normal but that wouldn't last long. I heard the cry of a man and ran forward and arrived in the recording studio. It was dark and seemed deserted but as I got closer I recognized a familiar figure._

_It was me well a version of me he was on his knee's crying in the darkness. He was being pelted by paper I took a closer look and noticed the paper had lyrics on it. It was Yuki his hair was thrown back he looked good but something wasn't right here. _

_I moved toward the scene and pushed the other Shuichi away to only see myself go through him like a ghost. Yuki was laughing his cold voice was familiar and always the same._

"_You have no talent you have zero talent GIVE UP" I saw myself cry harder and I shuddered in fear. Was I really this afraid of Yuki? I moved forward touching Yuki he turned quickly and a piece of paper appeared in my hand and I gasped Yuki was smiling a cold smile his hands were clasped together and he was gently stroking me._

"_Come on throw it he won't care let him cry" I gasped and I felt my hand pull back on its own. I moved my hand to stop it and heard Yuki's cold laughter "What's wrong your lyrics suck? Just finish him now he always gives up anyway its not like he cares anyway". I looked at Yuki and felt my hand push the ball forward I moved forward holding the ball _

"_No his lyrics don't suck why can't you ever SUPPORT ME" I screamed watching the mirror image of Yuki gasp and shatter he was a mirror. I ran toward the other me and pulled him up quickly. _

"_Help me destroy him do you always want to be put down by him? Do you always want him never respecting you STAND UP FOR YOURSELF" I screamed the other Shuichi looked at me and smiled a sad smile picking up a piece of paper and throwing it and as I felt my body disappear I saw him being surrounded in light and from the room I saw him utter_

"_Thank you"…_

_I didn't know what that meant or why I was hear but maybe I was here to face what I could not face. Hear to make amends hear to finally know if I was loved. Was that Yuki my Yuki? Or was that how I perceived him. I saw the familiar figure of Hiro as I appeared in front of him he looked at me and smiled sadly._

"_Did you see what you wanted to see" he uttered quietly _

"_Yes..." I uttered gently._

_The glow around us heightened and off we went in a great adventure in my mind_

**Chapter 13: Trials Pt2**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I felt my body lift off the ground and I sighed Hiro hadn't said anything in quite some time and it was starting to unnerve me. His eyes narrowed slightly and I looked around and noticed him staring ahead of me.

It was Yuki my heart skipped a beat and I ran forward this Yuki had to be my Yuki I ran forward not paying attention to Hiro's look of worry as I looked back he was gone again. I felt Yuki's arms encircle my waist and I sighed happily his body shifted and he gently nibbled my ear.

His dark wings unfolded from his back unknowingly to me and I smiled happily. His eyes glowed a soft red and I snuggled further. His fangs bit into my ear softly and I cried out backing out of his grasp quickly. He smirked a soft smile and I blushed deep red.

He moved forward "Shuichi come with me to the darkness" I moved away quickly and as he walked closer I pushed him away.

"You're not my Yuki" I said crying out the scenery started to change surrounding us in a velvet soft bed with dark black curtains. He smirked as his shirt disappeared leaving Yuki naked to my terrified eyes. He moved forward cupping me gently and I felt my body fall on the bed.

"What's wrong Shuichi I thought you loved me don't you like my body anymore?" I looked away quickly I felt his soft hands press me down. The bed shifted slightly and handcuffs surrounded my body and I looked up in fear.

"Yuki" I uttered in a terrified voice.

**Outside Shuichi's body…**

His body shook and he screamed Yuki ran to his side quickly and the doctors held him down as he tossed and turned. His body was cold but yet warm and sticky. The heart rate monitor seemed to quiver in delight as he tossed and Yuki watched on sadly.

Tohma stood beside him shaking his head sadly "It's alright Eiri Shindou-san is a fighter he'll survive"

Yuki nodded saying nothing only continued watching.

**Back in the body Of Shuichi…**

Yuki smirked above me and slid his fingers hotly down my skin and I winced it was like hot flames and it hurt. The handcuffs grew tighter as my skin started to burn. I screamed loudly as he nipped my chest.

"Get off" I screamed loudly the handcuffs seemed to laugh in response and he ignored me and continued.

I had to get out I had to take control of my life I could no longer just let Yuki have his way with me. I struggled more and Yuki laughed my eyes glowed white. The cuffs broke and angel wings supported forth. I knocked him back my eyes glowing dangerously.

"Don't ever touch me without my permission again" my hand moved forward and the white destroyed him I watched smiling softly and a single tear slid down my face.

"Sorry Yuki" The room changed and I felt my body lift from the ground and I landed beside a person he looked at me it was Hiro.

He looked at me gently and held me and I cried and he uttered gently

"I'm sorry you had to do that" I cried harder my wings closing around us and I felt right now all I wanted to do was stay here and never return. Never return to the hardships and the problems of life. I just wanted to sit here with Hiro and let him stay with me forever.

Hiro shook me quickly and I looked up he smiled weakly and I saw some of his body fade. "The more you complete the more I disappear" he said softly. I cried out and he laughed softly "don't worry I want you to keep going"

After that we never spoke of that again and we would never again until the time came. I noticed part of his wing was broken and it was falling apart. I reached forward he stopped me and I smiled sadly. He was dying all over again and this time I was really there to see it.

I noticed the air was warm and gentle Hiro eyes were red and I felt the heat surround my body. I wanted to say something but what could I say he was dying and I could do nothing.

"Shuichi don't be sad I'll always be with you but one day you have to release me" he uttered gently another feather fell as it landed it seemed to burn up and disappear.

I felt my body convulse in the darkness Hiro looked at me sadly his mind a jumble of emotions would he survive? Would he give into the darkness?

Hiro grabbed me harshly and we walked faster "Stay behind me" he screamed I looked ahead it was me but I looked different darker. My hair was dark black, dark thick mascara covered my eyes, a leather shirt with rips all over it and leather pants that seemed to glow. His look was dark and uncaring and he was how I felt when I cut myself.

He smirked and walked toward us and lifted up his sleeve revealing cuts and he laughed softly cutting himself right in front of us. Blood poured around him and I closed my eyes wishing it would just go away.

Hiro grabbed me harshly and pulled me forward "your not ready to see this yet he is for later" He laughed again and said in a mocking tone "Aww poor Shuichi afraid of little old me doesn't he want to come cut himself with me?" I didn't say anything what could I say?

Hiro pulled me away "Shuichi he'll come later" I nodded gently and as we walked away I saw him look at me and smirk and he mouthed the words.

_Be seeing you…_

As we continued walking I noticed Hiro's grave face and his look ahead the sky was dark red and I noticed it was raining blood, Hiro's blood.

**Author's Note: So what did you think? Good bad what could I have improven? Anyway More reviews faster update.**


	14. Chapter 14:Truth

**Previously on The ghost of you:** I had to get out I had to take control of my life I could no longer just let Yuki have his way with me. I struggled more and Yuki laughed my eyes glowed white. The cuffs broke and angel wings supported forth. I knocked him back my eyes glowing dangerously.

"Don't ever touch me without my permission again" my hand moved forward and the white destroyed him I watched smiling softly and a single tear slid down my face.

"Sorry Yuki" The room changed and I felt my body lift from the ground and I landed beside a person he looked at me it was Hiro.

He looked at me gently and held me and I cried and he uttered gently

"I'm sorry you had to do that" I cried harder my wings closing around us and I felt right now all I wanted to do was stay here and never return. Never return to the hardships and the problems of life. I just wanted to sit here with Hiro and let him stay with me forever.

Hiro shook me quickly and I looked up he smiled weakly and I saw some of his body fade. "The more you complete the more I disappear" he said softly. I cried out and he laughed softly "don't worry I want you to keep going"

After that we never spoke of that again and we would never again until the time came. I noticed part of his wing was broken and it was falling apart. I reached forward he stopped me and I smiled sadly. He was dying all over again and this time I was really there to see it.

I noticed the air was warm and gentle Hiro eyes were red and I felt the heat surround my body. I wanted to say something but what could I say he was dying and I could do nothing.

"Shuichi don't be sad I'll always be with you but one day you have to release me" he uttered gently another feather fell as it landed it seemed to burn up and disappear.

I felt my body convulse in the darkness Hiro looked at me sadly his mind a jumble of emotions would he survive? Would he give into the darkness?

Hiro grabbed me harshly and we walked faster "Stay behind me" he screamed I looked ahead it was me but I looked different darker. My hair was dark black, dark thick mascara covered my eyes, a leather shirt with rips all over it and leather pants that seemed to glow. His look was dark and uncaring and he was how I felt when I cut myself.

He smirked and walked toward us and lifted up his sleeve revealing cuts and he laughed softly cutting himself right in front of us. Blood poured around him and I closed my eyes wishing it would just go away.

Hiro grabbed me harshly and pulled me forward "your not ready to see this yet he is for later" He laughed again and said in a mocking tone "Aww poor Shuichi afraid of little old me doesn't he want to come cut himself with me?" I didn't say anything what could I say?

Hiro pulled me away "Shuichi he'll come later" I nodded gently and as we walked away I saw him look at me and smirk and he mouthed the words.

_Be seeing you…_

As we continued walking I noticed Hiro's grave face and his look ahead the sky was dark red and I noticed it was raining blood, Hiro's blood.

**Chapter 14: Truth**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

Hiro was gone when I looked over was this a bad omen? I noticed the surroundings change to that faithful day the day Hiro died. I saw myself talking to him screaming as he died. I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder and I turned it was Hiro he looked sad almost sullen his wings were falling apart and he uttered "Please tell me Shuichi why you let me die? I said nothing I just looked straight ahead of me pretending I didn't hear the question.

**If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?  
Though I'm closer to wrong  
I'm no further from right  
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me  
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah  
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie  
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised  
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give  
Deprived of my conscience  
This all belongs to me, yeah**

I couldn't reply why did I let him die? Hiro shook me harder his wings disappearing completely "Let me rest in peace tell me why?" I didn't reply did I really want Hiro to rest in peace? His tears hit my face and he shook my harder clinging to me harshly "tell me please…" he begged. His eyes eyes were shining and I knew if I told him he would disappear.

**The deception you show is your own parasite  
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like  
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me  
Convinced on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah**

I held him gently and uttered gently "I don't know" he looked at me angrily and his body started to disappear and he looked up at me a sad smile gracing his face and he mouthed the words "lies hurt shu-chan" I reached toward him and moved forward to grasp him but I fell instead.

**I'm beaten down again, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you  
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you**

I looked up and noticed the room change to the bathroom it was my bathroom a dark figure was above me and he was sitting their almost smirking. His dark hair covering his eyes and he smirked dropping the blade infront of me and I gasped clutching it tightly this was it my _salvation_.

**I'm beaten down again, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you  
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you**

It was him it was me; He laughed coldly and lifted me quickly off the ground slamming me against the shower curtain. "So you've finally come back to me little Shuichi" I trembled slightly as he slid the blade over my skin and I whimpered. He gently slid his tongue down my neck and bit lightly.

((You wonder if Shuichi having sex with himself))

I whimpred nervously and attempted to break free but only to find myself pushed on the cold bathroom floor. His fingertips were cold and uncaring his eyes were empty and lifeless. His body was mine and it just felt wrong. He ripped open my shirt revealing my chest to his hungry gaze and he slid the cold blade across my skin. I struggled and attempted to move away but he held me fast and I cried out as he sliced me softly. I whimpered and screamed as he cut again he moved forward licking the blood as it flowed. I felt my mind scream _somebody anybody help me. _A soft voice entered my mind and whispered gently _**you have to help yourself do you want to die?**_ Did I want to die? What a question for a long time I wanted to die but now I wanted to live. I wanted to run outside and play with Yuki I wanted to feel his skin touch mine. I wanted to kiss away his tears and show him I truly did love him. I felt my body glow and a large light from my body shot him back and he looked up at me and smirked "Dont be afarid little Shu-Chan embrace me for I am you" I felt my anger spike and I moved my hand forward plunging it into his heart and he looked at me in shock. As I literally tore his heart out. My hand was bloody and cold and the heart beat lifelessly in my hand and I squeezed it watching him die and he looked at me gently his hair shining pink and he uttered quietly.

"Goodbye…Shuichi" I looked up and noticed my body was in a bed and the shocked expressions of Yuki and Tohma and everyone else gaze were on me. I looked around the room not saying anything to any of them and noticed two transparent figures sitting in a chair in the corner of the room together their bodies intertwined it was Hiro and Shuichi they smiled softly and disappeared.

_Goodbye…_

**Authors note: Thank you to all who reviewed I think the next chapter will be the last so everyone review nicely anywho give me some ideas for a new story.**


	15. Chapter 15:The Ghost Of You

**Authors note: Well this is the last chapter I would like to thank everyone who reviewed nods I don't want to bore you so off I go.**

**Previously on The Ghost of You:** I couldn't reply why did I let him die? Hiro shook me harder his wings disappearing completely "Let me rest in peace tell me why?" I didn't reply did I really want Hiro to rest in peace? His tears hit my face and he shook my harder clinging to me harshly "tell me please…" he begged. His eyes eyes were shining and I knew if I told him he would disappear.

**The deception you show is your own parasite  
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like  
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me  
Convinced on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah**

I held him gently and uttered gently "I don't know" he looked at me angrily and his body started to disappear and he looked up at me a sad smile gracing his face and he mouthed the words "lies hurt shu-chan" I reached toward him and moved forward to grasp him but I fell instead.

**I'm beaten down again, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you  
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you**

I looked up and noticed the room change to the bathroom it was my bathroom a dark figure was above me and he was sitting their almost smirking. His dark hair covering his eyes and he smirked dropping the blade infront of me and I gasped clutching it tightly this was it my _salvation_.

**I'm beaten down again, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you  
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them  
Beaten down again, I've failed you**

It was him it was me; He laughed coldly and lifted me quickly off the ground slamming me against the shower curtain. "So you've finally come back to me little Shuichi" I trembled slightly as he slid the blade over my skin and I whimpered. He gently slid his tongue down my neck and bit lightly.

((You wonder if Shuichi having sex with himself))

I whimpred nervously and attempted to break free but only to find myself pushed on the cold bathroom floor. His fingertips were cold and uncaring his eyes were empty and lifeless. His body was mine and it just felt wrong. He ripped open my shirt revealing my chest to his hungry gaze and he slid the cold blade across my skin. I struggled and attempted to move away but he held me fast and I cried out as he sliced me softly. I whimpered and screamed as he cut again he moved forward licking the blood as it flowed. I felt my mind scream _somebody anybody help me. _A soft voice entered my mind and whispered gently **_you have to help yourself do you want to die?_** Did I want to die? What a question for a long time I wanted to die but now I wanted to live. I wanted to run outside and play with Yuki I wanted to feel his skin touch mine. I wanted to kiss away his tears and show him I truly did love him. I felt my body glow and a large light from my body shot him back and he looked up at me and smirked "Dont be afarid little Shu-Chan embrace me for I am you" I felt my anger spike and I moved my hand forward plunging it into his heart and he looked at me in shock. As I literally tore his heart out. My hand was bloody and cold and the heart beat lifelessly in my hand and I squeezed it watching him die and he looked at me gently his hair shining pink and he uttered quietly.

"Goodbye…Shuichi" I looked up and noticed my body was in a bed and the shocked expressions of Yuki and Tohma and everyone else gaze were on me. I looked around the room not saying anything to any of them and noticed two transparent figures sitting in a chair in the corner of the room together their bodies intertwined it was Hiro and Shuichi they smiled softly and disappeared.

_Goodbye…_

**Chapter 15: The Ghost of you**

**Shuichi's P.O.V**

I looked around the room and smiled softly no one moved no one talked. It was dead quite I noticed Yuki was standing near me it looked like he was shivering slightly. His hair seemed a mess his usual cold eyes were shivering shakily.

"Hey guys" I uttered softly unsure of their reactions Yuki moved forward and embraced me quickly uttering apology after apology and I smiled softly stroking his hair gently. I felt his tears stain my shirt and I shivered.

Everyone had left the room leaving me and Yuki alone he said beside on the bed and I embraced his tenderly and he stroked my pink hair affectionately. "Yuki did you miss me?" I asked innocently knowing the answer already.

"What do you think? You baka" he said playfully causing me to giggle. Yuki didn't say much for his visit with me it's like he had something to hide or nothing to say. I sighed and looked around the room maybe I was just imagining those ghosts I closed my eyes and smiled a real smile for once.

It felt strange, though Hiro was gone I could finally move on even if that meant with Yuki or without Yuki I would move on.

**5 years later…**

I kicked some dirt as I walked to the graveyard alone… it had been 5 years since I had been here. It all looked the same the dirt, the tombstones, the flowers and that same depressing feeling. The roses in my hands gleamed beautifully in the bright sunshine causing me to wince slightly.

I knelt quietly at the tombstone reading the name over _Hiro Nakano_ I placed the flowers on his grave almost imagining a hand sprouting forth from the ground and encasing it in its boney hand and pulling it down. I choked back a few tears and stroked the letters lovingly and kissed each letter with care.

I stood up and said quietly "Hiro its been 5 years since I've visited you theirs so much I have to tell" I said choking on my own words.

"Well as you suspected Yuki's not here he's off, god knows where he left me the night I returned home" I played with my hair recalling the memory well…

_Flashback…_

_I felt Yuki's hot tongue devour my body and I moaned in happiness how great it felt to be in his arms again unknown to me this would be our last time together. He made love to me gently and uttered sweet nothings something I would never hear from Yuki again._

_The morning after I found myself alone and I rubbed my eyes maybe this was a joke but all his stuff was gone he had left nothing only a note._

_Dear Shuichi,_

_By the time you get this letter I will be gone. I have decided to stop all contact with you. I find this hard to explain to you but the more we are together the more pain we cause each other, though you are probably angry at me right now all I can say is I'm sorry. _

_Goodbye Shuichi Shindou..._

_I choked on the letter and felt my hot tears hit the paper and I dropped it that night I had erased Yuki from my life. I had burned anything left by him. I had redecorated the apartment and I had let another person in my life disappear._

I chuckled softly at the memory and continued "Bad luck had made it big in America and were going to tour their I know you would be proud if you could see us now"

I knelt down placing our new album in my pocket on his grave and covered it in dirt and chuckled "If you need some music in heaven hear you go".

"Before I go I just wanted to say I love you you've always been my best friend" I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder and I turned it was him the man that haunted my dreams that caressed me by I was lonely, who made fun of me when I was acting like an idiot it was him Eiri Yuki.

He moved toward me and I backed away tripping onto the ground and he offered me a hand I slapped it away "why are you here?" he shrugged smirking slightly causing my anger to spike.

"Shuichi I've come back to tell you I'm sorry" I laughed coldly walking around him

"You're sorry, you're fucking sorry after what you did to me your sorry just won't cut it" he moved forward so quickly I could resist him and his cold lips touched my hot supple lips. I tried to push him away only to be met with more kisses.

I pushed him away harshly a few tears flowing down my eyes I looked away and ground out "go away I never want to see you again" I heard his sharp intake of breath and he moved forward embracing me from behind. His tongue slowly trailed down my ear and uttered huskily "Dont lie" I attempted to move from his grasp only to be pulled further into his embrace.

"Shuichi I left because... I needed time, time to think about us I knew when you woke up that time when you were in that coma I couldn't face you I couldn't look at you and realize that I wasn't right for you. You deserved someone who would treat you right, hold your hand and tell you everything would be ok and I knew I couldnt be that person" I choked back tears and moved forward embracing him tightly.

"Yuki all I wanted was you thats all I didnt care if you did any of those things all I wanted was you and I still do" I covered my mouth quickly turning away and he moved forward licking my neck gently.

"Then you've got me" he uttered Shuichi smiled a true smile and embraced him as they walked away their fingers intertwined. Golden brown met purple and they finally knew they had their happy ending. Both not knowing if this was the end or the begining but they knew it was something.

Something Magical...

Unknownest to us a figure was perched onto a gravestone smiling sweetly his long red hair was covering his face and his angel wings covered his body gracefully. He moved forward and raised his hand to touch Shuichi but only to find his hand go through it. He clutched his hand fearfully and cried out. He watched the lovers disappear and uttered.

"Goodbye...Shu-Chan"

On the day of that visit Shuichi let go of him he let go of...

The ghost of you...

**Authors note: Ta Dah its done I hope it was good if any of you guys want to give me an idea for a new story don't hesitate to tell me.**

**Love darkphoniex245 **


End file.
